It was a pleasure to break bread and clink a glass with Matteo Tosso, Italy's best sommelier, according to Guida Espresso.
I may not have a Valentine this year, but I did get to enjoy a media lunch with hottie Matteo Tosso at Anacapri in Coral Gables last week. Though young, Matteo has earned the prestigious rank of Best Sommelier from the Guida L'ESPRESSO 2012 -- it's the European version of Wine Spectator, but in a more beautiful language.
And speaking of language, nothing could top the day after listening to Matteo, his girlfriend (yes, of course he's taken!) and a Beni Di Batasolio winery rep wax poetically about the wines in English inflected with the lilting, lyrical tones of that ancient tongue.
Our actual tongues were none the worse for wear either, as we sipped several varieties of wine from the Barolo region of Piedmonte in northwest Italy. Matteo is the sommelier at La Rei, a restaurant attached to Il Boscareto, a luxury property in this wooded, hilly area. Even at the tender age of 26, Matteo has over ten years of hospitality and wine studies under his belt.
Now, to be fair, I haven't been to Il Boscareto, so I can't write about it. But after having lunch with these folks, I did feel transported to my own mental movie script -- think a cross between Under the Tuscan Sun and Eat, Pray, Love with some very delicious ending. And the Barbaresco wine with Anacapri's hearty spaghetti and meatballs didn't hurt. In fact, I may have to reconsider my opinion of Scarpetta's spaghetti, as a good red wine goes so well with a truly meaty meatball -- a meatball with substance.
During lunch, we spoke of romantic picnics, sneaking away to make love in the vineyards and the aphrodisiac properties of white truffles -- expensive and exclusive to the Barolo region. By dessert time, my Coral Gables repast had turned into a much needed Italian vacation for my imagination.
A tough job but somebody has to carb load.
But it wasn't all sexy talk and it wasn't all noodles. My favorite red was the Briccolina, somewhat dry yet fruity and sweet enough to make a great accompaniment for our third course, grilled steak and arugula.
Which got me thinking: what's a sexy drink for Valentine's Day? The sweet Moscato D'Asti with fresh peaches and lemon gelato might be a good way to start or end the evening. Heck, any evening for that matter, when love is in the air. You can find Batasolio winery selections at Milam's, Crown Liquors, Epicure, Doral Wine and Spirits and of course, at Anacapri restaurants.
Don't be surprised if this story continues with a dispatch from Italy later this year. Sex and the Beach loves to cover romantic travel anywhere near or around a body of water, but I think a good glass of Barolo could count as a liquid equivalent. If I can't find a husband in Miami, maybe there's one abroad waiting to give me big baci e abbracci sometime in the future, which reminds me, I need to renew my passport!
A very international experience in Miami, in which I attended a Scotch whisky tasting and a reading from a historical romance novel set in Scotland – all on the same night. Read Part 2 here.
The indefatigable Richard Paterson, master blender for Whyte and Mackay Distillers, Glasgow. We met at Fleming's in Coral Gables earlier this month.
SCOTCH IS DOWNRIGHT SEXY
As the author of Sex and the Beach, I have been to many spirit tastings and liquor events (yes, it’s a terrible job, but someone’s gotta do it), and none have impressed me as much as meeting master blender Richard Paterson from Whyte and Macay Distillers in person to sip glorious spirit from the Scottish highlands.
Blending Scotch whisky is no easy task, requiring a razor sharp, almost bionic sense of smell and a keen understanding of the land where it’s produced – a connection to every grain of barley, ever handful of earthy peat and every drop of fresh river water in Scottish terrain. It is, as I was to learn, a rather sensual profession. Another “tough job” someone has to do and God bless Paterson for that.
Scotch is definitely not a girl drink. Can you imagine Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City ordering a neat scotch instead of a Cosmo? Scotch was the kind of thing Mr. Big would drink. It’s a guy’s drink, your father’s drink, your grandpa's night cap, Mad Men ad exec closing a business deal drink, genteel men excusing themselves for cigars and post-prandials as the ladies go play cards in the parlor room drink.
Or so I thought.
Paterson presented scotch in a way that never occurred to me. We’re used to words like “body” in tastings but I’d never heard “long in the mouth” or “art of swallowing” or “multiple orgasm” anywhere outside of a tantric sex lecture.
Paterson, whose ebullient personality betrays his passion for Scotch, encouraged us to slow down much like a yoga teacher would in this style of drinking.
“Hold it in the mouth for at least 15 seconds,” he recommended. “Taste it a second time as you swallow. We’re all in a hurry. Take time to sip and savor.”
When I asked if Scotch was always enjoyed in such a sensual oral ritual, he replied without hesitation. “No, people used to knock it back like cowboys.”
There’s a legitimate, scientific reason why Scotch shouldn’t be consumed like wham-bam-thank-you-m’am.
In this case, the spirit on our tongues was from The Dalmore, an exclusive single malt produced in a distillery north of Inverness at sea level on the shores of the Firth of Cromarty. This whisky had been sitting in different casks for years, bespoke barrels that in turn, probably held sherry from Spain or bourbon from America for many years prior. A lot of time -- and a very patient, biochemical process -- passed between that grain of barley sprouting from the ground and that golden liquid slinking down my throat.
I wasn't just downing booze. I was taking in history.
Why rush through it?
The metaphors continued in a philosophy that I genuinely liked, because it was so damn sensible. There's something very organic and yummy about it. Just as in life and with people, so with Scotch -- you never want to rush into a relationship.
“I treat whisky just like I would a person,” Paterson said. “I get to know them. I say hello, listen and communicate with them.”
There are sensual receptors in our heads – the mouth, the tongue, the nose and the eyes – all in service of the spirit you’re about to swallow. “The Scotch has an inner world,” he said. “Let it open up.”
When asked if women would make better Scotch drinkers than men, Paterson answered with a decisive yes. “It’s the same as buying perfume. You don’t just accept it right away,” he replied. “You let it sit and get to know it.”
“Women are more apt to listen and pay attention,” he continued. “In fact, women will add less water to Scotch. A man is a pussy compared to a woman.”
This impeccably dressed Scottish gentleman, with such elegant aplomb, had me in stitches when he dropped the "p" word! Good Lord, he’s serious about his Scotch and doesn’t mince his words.
But most of all, it was fun. Paterson suggests you try Scotch as a flavor adventure for the palate, pairing it with chocolate, coffee and crème brûlée for that “multiple orgasm” experience, which he explains rather jovially in the two videos below.
Sorry the video was cut off ... more here.
I don’t know … I think I’d rather drink my dram of Scotch with just a wee drop or two of pure water, but that’s because even food seems like a distraction from something so fine. Anything that tastes so good and simulates a long, drawn out foreplay works well for me.
ABOUT DALMORE
Dalmore is a single malt, which means that it is only blended with other single malts from the same distillery in the Highlands producing Scotch since 1839. Dalmore has stocked some of the rarest Scotch in Scotland, making it high couture of liquor. The Dalmore Trinitas sold for approximately $150,000 including VAT at Harrods in London in 2010.
But you can buy other Dalmore bottles at Total Wine in Fort Lauderdale for far less ranging from $49 to $149 for the 12 year old, Grand Reserva and 18 year old expressions. Other outlets include major South Florida liquor stores and many cool Miami cocktail spots that get a thumbs up from Sex and the Beach: Fleming’s, The Local, Van Dyke, Tobacco Road, Transit Lounge, Soyka, Brickell Irish Pub, Segafredo South Miami, to name a few.
To learn more about Scotch history, pick up a copy of Paterson’s book, Goodness Nose, co-authored with Gavin D. Smith. Paterson is a third-generation Scotch whisky professional, so part of the book focuses on many of the tedious ups and downs of the business over the years. But the book is also a travel memoir; especially seductive are Paterson’s travels through remote Campbeltown in Kintyre and the Isle of Jura. I wanted to book a flight as soon as I closed the back cover of the book.
The Rum Renaissance Festival Grand Tasting really hit it out of the ballpark this weekend with a much larger exhibit space compared to last year. The Deauville Hotel ballroom turned into rum heaven where dozens of brands showed off their spirits, ranging from clear whites for mixing to dark aged rums for sipping and everything in between. A second ballroom served as a competition stage and booth space for rum lifestyle products.
Leading up to the weekend: a Zombie Jamboree, numerous VIP parties and judging sessions by the RumXP squad of international experts.
Saturday boasted a lively crowd that seemed greatly inclined to dancing and ended with more butt shaking at an Appleton Rum VIP party at The Delano's Florida Room, which was great until the typical guidos and barely legal bitches of South Beach clubdom arrived.
Sunday was definitely calmer.
On both days, rum experts delivered informative and entertaining seminars in two separate conference rooms, which gave some relief to the frenzied rum tasting going on downstairs.
Among the sessions: Philip Duff spoke on rum terroir and asked if it really exists -- ingredients can come from several islands while aging happens in Europe, for example. Journalist and author Ian Williams, aka Rum Pundit, discussed rum history, which is important to America's past. And Global Rum Ambassador Ian Burrel lectured on the proper daiquiri, which has a fascinating history tracing back to Indonesia and traversing the entire path of new world colonization.
(Click on the subject links for exclusive interviews.)
The weekend ended late Sunday afternoon with a wild tiki drink competition where zombie cocktail fanatics from across the pond won first prize.
Indeed, you'd have to be a zombie in a coma to not have a blast at this event while learning a thing or two about cane spirits. And though it was buzzing with energy, rum groupies young and old are a fun, laid-back crowd. All snobbery checked in at the door. Now that's refreshing.
Oops! Someone's boob got tikied. It's a badge of honor!
RECIPE
My favorite cocktail of all this year used savory elements to balance out the sweetness of the rum. Move over mojito!
Passion Fontaine
1 1/2 oz. Dos Maderas 5 + 3 2 muddled basil leaves 1 pounded jalapeño slice 3/4 oz. Boiron passion fruit purée 3/4 oz simple syrup 1/2 oz. Boiron lime juice
Shake with ice and strain over fresh ice. Garnish with a basil leaf and jalapeño slice.
Jeff "Beachbum" Berry mixing up a 1950's version of the legendary Zombie cocktail.
Rum experts, judges and fanatics have alighted in South Florida from all over the world for this week's third annual Rum Renaissance Festival. The event kicked off in Fort Lauderdale on Monday with the Zombie Jamboree at the Mai Kai. Robert V. Burr, son of Robert and Robin Burr, founders of the festival, organized the event.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Also known as "RumScout," the younger Burr's enthusiasm for rum was clearly evident during an impromptu interview while we took in some fresh air between drinks and dinner. For him, making rum drinks is an art form. "Mixology reminds me of jazz. Nobody does it like Miles or Bird," he said. "Everybody does a different riff, even though it's the same melody."
ZOMBIES ARE ALIVE AND WELL
Jeff "Beachbum" Berry, author and expert on tiki cocktails and cuisine, lectured on the fascinating history of the Zombie cocktail, which heralds back to 1934 when Donn Beach created the popular drink at his restaurant Don The Beachcomber in Hollywood, California. Beach was reticent about the ingredients in the cocktail, some of which were written in a secret code. As a result, bars around the world started creating their own versions of the wildly popular Zombie. Berry's meticulous research unlocked the secrets and as a result, we were able to taste as close an approximation as possible to the 1934 original as well as a 1950's version.
World War II, which sent so many American soldiers into the Pacific and Polynesia, certainly didn't put a damper on the immense popularity of tiki drinks that came after the Zombie. Soldiers returned with tales and souvenirs from the Pacific, Hawaiian eventually became a state, James Michener published Tales of the South Pacific, which would eventually become a musical by Rodgers and Hammerstein -- all this and more would romanticize the Pacific Islands for Americans. Don Beach himself settled in Hawaii and kept the tradition alive, although it's ironic that drinks made with Caribbean rums have come to be synonymous with Pacific cultures.
As I always say, the history of the drink is just as interesting as the drink itself and Monday night's Zombie tasting was no exception to my philosophy.
ZOMBIES OUT ON THE PROWL
After Beachbum's lecture, we sampled modern versions of the Zombie from half a dozen independent mixologists.
These two tiki bar owners from Manchester, England, were irrepressible. They "anglicized" their Zombies by adding the juice of various berries. Lyndon Higginson (left) of Keko Moku and Bart Murphy (right) of Hula Tiki Lounge.
A refreshing Zombie made with DonQ.
Joe and Nicole, expert rum judges, own the Rhum Rhum Room in New York City.
Atomic Grog also supports tiki culture and is based in South Florida.
A good Zombie is not your ordinary fruity cocktail. Forget your average strawberry daiquiri or piña colada here; this is the mother of all tiki drinks, and while it does contain fruit juices, this vintage beverage also packs a buzz, hence its namesake. All Zombie's feature various rums in combination with other liqueurs, juices, falernum and bitters. A Zombie is a classy, elaborate tropical concoction with intense flavors -- quite the cut above the watered-down slushy drinks you'll find at the average bar.
The tiki craze is alive and well today among rum lovers worldwide. In fact, tiki culture is popular a group of Ohioans developed The Fraternal Order of Moai, which now boasts several chapters around the country, including one in South Florida called the Gumbo Limbo.
RUM FESTIVALS AND MORE
The Rum Renaissance Festival is on-going until Sunday. The weekend promises to be memorable, with two grand tasting days at the Deauville Hotel, featuring cocktail competitions, seminars and more. It's a celebration of all cane spirits, not just tiki culture. With tickets at only $25 for a full day or $45 for both Saturday and Sunday, this has got to be one of the best cocktail "education" events in South Florida year-round. For other tasting events year-round, visit Gifted Rums.
Robert V. Burr writes the blog RumScout and co-hosts a local underground Tiki Horror Club with Andrew Lazo. The events combine bad movies with great drinks at a modest price of admission. Find the club on Facebook.
The 10th annual Hukilau Festival, a celebration of all things tiki and Polynesian Pop, takes place June 9-12 in Fort Lauderdale.
THE MAI KAI
For a true tiki experience in South Florida, head to the Mai Kai. "This is one of the best tiki bars in the world," Burr said. And that's clearly evident in the beverage menu, which features classic tiki drinks that are hard to find elsewhere in the area.
A Mai Kai bartender in front of one of their signature drinks.
If you live in or visit South Florida, don't miss the Mai Kai for a special treat. You'd never expect such a lushly landscaped oasis would be on a bland, strip-mall area of North Federal Highway, yet there it is and has been since 1956. Newcomers should experience dinner and a show, which features music and dance from various Polynesian islands with male and female performers. I was expecting it to be kitschy, but it was definitely worth it; I've seen greater Polynesian kitsch in Waikiki.
A taste of Polynesian culture is available year-round in Fort Lauderdale at the Mai Kai, which offers an excellent selection of tiki-inspired drinks. Photo courtesy of Mai Kai.
Dinner and show costs $45 per person. Choose an appetizer, main course and dessert from the Bali Hai menu, drinks not included. You can also order a la carte from the regular menu and pay $10.95 to enjoy the show while dining.
If you're a regular, or don't want to see the show, you can still have dinner elsewhere in the restaurant's different rooms, including outdoor seating in a garden area with waterfalls. Try the marinated roast pork, which is cooked tender in the Mai Kai's huge stone Chinese ovens.
For light bites and drinks, stop by the Molokai Bar, which I especially loved, since it's decorated in the fashion of a pirate ship. Happy hour takes place daily from 5 - 7 PM and offers 50% off appetizers plus most drinks.
If you are a mojito virgin, you must have one at Versailles. But don't expect a bar. You'll have to order food in order to enjoy an adult beverage at this iconic Cuban restaurant in the heart of Miami.
I have great friends. On some days, they just wake up and say, "hey, wonder who makes the best mojito? Let's spend the afternoon finding out!"
And so the first Mojito March was born, during which some friends and I boarded Jim Winter's "Special Ed Short Bus" (you may know Jim of Nikon Miami Blog) for an afternoon of cocktail shenanigans at Tarpon Bend, Versailles, Catch of the Day and Ortanique.
We started around 3ish and didn't end until 9ish. A true mojito olympics indeed, requiring savvy pacing and endurance. Our goal: to see which one of the four establishments served the best version of a mojito, which is basically light rum served over muddled mint, lime and sugar (or simple syrup), topped with a spritz of club soda.
TARPON BEND
Drinks were fruitier and rather light at Tarpon Bend. One of our attendees said "I could spend a whole afternoon here, but not at Versailles." The sell: less crowds and noise.
Tarpon Bend was a great place to start. With a daily happy hour (2 for 1) starting at 3 PM, their drinks were rather fruity and light, reminding me of the kind of beverage you might enjoy at a ritzy spa, with mojito combinations featuring fresh muddled watermelon, for example. To be honest, their traditional mojitos paled in comparison to the ones we would have later, so I would call Tarpon Bend the right kind of place to go when you want mickey mouse refreshment -- a lush's retreat for hydration during a hangover -- which would be just right on a Saturday afternoon with no crowds on Miracle Mile.
A rather sweet coconut mojito held the imagination of my socia@lizawalton, who quickly declared it tasted like "ladies lying out in the sun." I asked her: "Should we call it the Coppertone, complete with a tanning butler spreading oil on my ass?" And thus, I think, we have a new favorite drink for Sex and the Beach, though I'm no fan of flavored rums. (I can't believe they even brought out the Dragonberry. Sorry Bacardi, but I'm a rum purist.)
VERSAILLES
The waitresses at Versailles wear awesome polyester retro uniforms.
Versailles, the iconic, world-famous Cuban restaurant on 8th street, passed muster with a stiff cocktail that would put hair in even in the chest of Tony Montana. And you should expect "stiff" around here -- the soft curves of women who have indulged way too much in flan are flanked by hard-line politics and protests just outdoors, all washed down with rum and strong coffee. This is a bustling place, full of locals and tourists, ready to ignite at a moment's notice while digging into your rice and beans like you would at your Cuban abuela's house.
Versailles gets bonus points for garnishing the drink with a chunk of sugar cane, too, which is always fun to suck on. This was better than Tarpon Bend's drinks, which were so pulpy, it was impossible to suck anything through the straw unless you were a porn star equipped with a Dyson vacuum. And besides, every cocktail should come with something phallic other than a plastic straw to put in one's mouth. Remember, drinking isn't just about taste, it's about sensual things like sucking and swallowing, right?
Not to mention that sugar cane itself evokes the raw history of rum, slavery, wealth and blood-sucking greed that was the sugar industry in the evolution of the Caribbean, the United States and the rest of the New World. Yeah, suck on that, baby. You're tasting a little bit of history when you have a mojito at Versailles.
Order mojitos with the "fried combination" platter -- fried tuber roots of every kind, including yuca, as well as meat-filled empanadas and croquetas, served with a garlicky cilantro aioli -- and you have the perfect Cuba Carbs 101 for your friends who fly in from Iowa.
While you're there, don't forget to spread rumors about Castro being dead:
CATCH OF THE DAY
Catch of the Day, a casual sports bar and seafood restaurant near the airport, served mojitos in tall glasses. While tasty and refreshing, the use of sugar actually made some sips rather granular, which made me think I had ordered rum with muddled sheet rock. Simple syrup is always better. Not that it was bad, mind you. I just don't like grainy stuff in my drinks -- you know, kind of like how tapioca reminds you of sperm. If you go to Catch of the Day, try their special mango mojito, which was fruity but not heavy like nectar.
Of course, great company is the most important ingredient of any cocktail! The Mojito March crew toasting at Catch of the Day.
We even attempted to scientifically register our mojito research.
Here we enjoyed some delicious filled tostones with shrimp creole, which are usually not on the menu. This unpretentious place, like a Cubanaso version of Tarpon Bend (see, there's taxidermy art, stuffed fish on the wall, too) is worth its weight in happy hour though, which runs from 3 - 7 PM everyday on the lord's calendar.
ORTANIQUE
Ortanique got it down. And it's not just because it was our last stop of the evening.
Our day ended at Ortanique, probably the fanciest place where we imbibed cane spirits, and not surprisingly, as they served the best and most expensive mojito at about $10 a glass, which is still cheaper than a thimble full of whore spit in South Beach. Ortanique's secret? They skip muddling and rip their mint leaves, letting the natural botanical oils seep into the cocktail without turning the leaves black. (I've never seen mint turn black though ... have you?) They also have the right amount of fizz from club soda, which I found lacking in the other mojitos.
All in all, each location had something great to offer, though if you're going to judge the proverbial cocktail itself, Ortanique takes the cake.
SPECIAL ED SHORT BUS
Our adventure was possible in part thanks to Jim Winters, the creative brain behind Nikon Miami Blog and Bulldog Neon Signs, as well as denizen of one of Miami's most unique art bunkers -- that's the only name I can come up with to describe his studio. Our fearless driver made it safe for us to indulge.
A gentle giant, Jim Winters stands his ground next to the short bus. @lizawalton peeks through the window.
I could not, of course, finish this blog post without paying tribute to Ines, Miami's original mojito expert, whom unfortunately could not grace us with her presence on this day. As a result, I felt obligated to do a Miamism-style review, out of deep reverence to the mojito queen herself!
More pictures from our mojito adventures on Flickr.
