Sex in the Garden: Plant Porn

Since the arrival of the vernal equinox, Manola's garden has witnessed masterful acts of seduction and a flurry of frenzied sexual activity!

Here are some photos for your tropical viewing pleasure. Read below to satisfy your kinky desire for plant porn.



According to Taylor's Guide to Orchids, "Orchids have made thousands of bizarre adaptations in order to seduce specific pollinators."

Think birds and insects!

For instance, the orchid that looks, feels and smells so much like a female bee, that the male simulates mating and flies away without ever suspecting he just humped a flower. But he's hot to trot and in a second frenzied mating, deposits the pollen onto "another attractive-looking 'musky'-smelling and yet totally bogus paramour." This process is known as "pseudocopulation."

In human terms this would be called "safe sex with a blow up doll."

Some orchids also use an intoxicant "causing the bee to fall drunkenly into an orchid tank of liquid, where it is rudely awakened into recovery. . . ."

Oh, come on! Admit it! You've never had a drunken one night stand that ends in a rude awakening?

Another type of orchid shoots its wad of "sticky pollen" onto the head of the pollinator.

Ew!

A majority of orchids attract pollinators to "their beautifully patterned or flamboyant lips that act as irressistible landing platforms."

Lipstick or dipstick?

And you thought sex on the beach was only between humans!