Thursday, August 20, 2009

Planet Manola: Fried Chicken, Food, Sex and Fat

Random news, commentary and photographs. Updated at least once every menstrual cycle, if not more frequently. If you are easily offended, do not read on!

fried chickenPhoto courtesy of on Flickr.


I nearly bust a gut laughing when my fellow writer buddy Teresa Mears (@miamicheap) reported Michy's $33 all-you-can-eat fried chicken special on her fabulous (and practical!) site, Miami on the Cheap:
For $33 per person, you can get endless helpings of fried chicken, biscuits and gravy, coleslaw and watermelon Greek salad, plus a piece of dark chocolate cream pie for dessert. The price doesn’t include tax, tip or drinks.
Now, I don't have anything against Michelle Bernstein or her Biscayne corridor restaurant, Michy's. In fact, I'm all for the culinary adventures and success of any woman who had made it in hard-ass business in an even harder part of town. Kudos, all the way.

But Michy, please ... Are you fucking kidding me? $33 for fried chicken? FRIED CHICKEN? $33 for the classic, cheap American comfort food? $33 for what? A cupla chicken breasts? I mean how much am I gonna eat, really? And why would I eat your fried chicken when I can get your awesome and exclusive Miami Spice menu for $35? And what's up with not having collard greens, mac and cheese and cornbread? And does this fried chicken come with a lotto ticket?

Boy, I imagine there are some cash-strapped families in Liberty City who would either laugh or cry over this offer. Or, I can just imagine a few people getting off at the Greyhound Bus station downtown and saying, "hey, let's take a bus to Michy's and chow down on some of that cheap $33 fried chicken." (Surely, the extra expense is worth it over the fried chicken sold at the gas station across the street from Soyka.)

Come to think of it, how does the $33 price tag compare to blow jobs and crack on Biscayne?

Oy vay, I don't know if Michy's chickens lay golden eggs or what, but I hope this doesn't become a trend in our city's finer restaurants. What's next? Barton G doing their own version of a Denny's Grand Slam?

There's chicken. And then there's chicken. Pass the KFC bucket, please.

(PS, every self-respecting Miamian should follow @miamicheap.)

hyattpier66 brunch plateNo, it's not a penis, but it sure would be nice if I had one for dessert. Photo by yours truly taken recently at the food-gasmic @hyattpier66 brunch in Fort Lauderdale.


And speaking of food and people to follow on Twitter, one of my favorites is Jennifer Iannolo (@foodphilosophy) of the Culinary Media Network, a gorgeous, informative food and travel website. Jennifer's writing focuses on the sensual aspects of food, which of course I love. Recently, she started a meme on twitter called #sexonaplate, which provides me with mouth-watering fantasies all day long. As Jennifer explains it:
The original “sex on a plate” quote comes from my first manifesto, On Food and Sensuality, written in 2004 when I discovered that the pre-consumption sight and/or smell of certain foods evokes a visceral reaction in me that is so sensually satisfying, the eating is almost an afterthought. Almost.

So now I’m asking what evokes that reaction in you. What makes you swoon? Sigh? Tremble? Drool?

I do have an ulterior motive here, which has become my life’s work: I want you to eat better food and have better sex. They go together, you see.
I couldn't agree more. Especially with the first line of her manifesto: “Never trust a woman who doesn’t like to eat. She is probably lousy in bed.”

Amen, sister.

Read this manifesto NOW. You'll never eat the same way again.

(PS This edition is about ladies in the kitchen, but Jennifer works with Chef Mark (@chefmark), who is another great follow from the Culinary Media Network.)


Another favorite food blogger, Katie Pizzuto (@gonzogastronomy), also writes zestfully about food on her site Gonzogastronomy, inspired by Hunter S. Thompson's term gonzo journalism, of course.

And speaking of chicken, Katie's biting wit is clear in her latest post about how to make things taste good without "the fat crutch":
I’ve recently come to the forehead-smacking conclusion that most of the chefs whose mantra is “fat is flavor” have that mantra because they’re just fucking lazy. Putting a half-stick of butter in a pan to finish a dish is undoubtedly going to be delicious, but it’s easy—and, of course, fattening as all hell. . . .

The challenge that presented itself to me is the one that, in the end, forced me to define just how good I am in a kitchen. Exactly how good can you make that chicken breast taste, sister, if you can’t deep-fry it, wrap it in pancetta or drizzle it with a cream sauce, hmmm?
Amen, sister!

Now if anyone can come up with a low-fat, low-cost version of fried chicken, I'd be in heaven.

And by the way, I'm really tempted to do a blind review of Michy's fried chicken. I'll just see if I can wrap my mind (and wallet) around the $33 tab, which you know is gonna be more, since you gotta have some bubbly with fried chicken.


Jennifer Iannolo said...

Thank you Maria!

If I can help to fuel your food fantasies, I'm doing my job. :) Can't wait to share our next taste with you!


ines said...

omg - I swear I busted a rib from laughing so hard!

Blind Mind said...

The $33 fried chicken dinner is ridiculous. Like you said, how many pieces of "unlimited" fried chicken can one person eat anyways? Im good for maybe 3 max and thats only if Im starving. I see this little promo as more of a "me too" effort by MB to react to the gobs of pizza/burger joints that have been opening up all over Miami. I'll pass.

Blasé said...

$33..mmmkay, very interesting!