Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Steelclit: Breaking Up Over Text
Dear Dr. Annie Steelclit:
I'm well into my thirties, and my boyfriend of several months, who was older than I, broke up with me over text. I understand high school brats acting this way, but I can't believe a well-educated person with a white collar job would do something like this. Do you think this was ok?" -- Dumbfounded
Breaking up over text is one of the most undignified, disrespectful and unkind things a person can do to a lover. He didn't text his way into your heart and pussy, did he? He didn't text over flowers and text lavish dinners to get you into the sack did he? He didn't text you when he was lying on top of you, looking you in the eye and saying he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, did he? He didn't text blow job instructions to you when you were going down on him, did he?
Anyone who breaks up over text is a fucking coward. I mean, how convenient is that? How convenient is it to sweep your heart right under the rug. No, worse: take it out to the street and dump it unceremoniously in the gutter without any accountability whatsoever.
The right honest thing to do in a break up is to look someone in the eye and treat them with compassion. This may be hard for the person leaving the relationship, but anyone with enough cojones will muster up the strength and get it over with. Breaking up over text means he's afraid of confrontation and most likely had intimacy issues to begin with. He didn't even have the courage to confront you over the phone, because he didn't want to deal with what you might have had to say. But look at it this way: he did you a favor. Why would you want to be with such an inconsiderate, spineless asshole? Be grateful for that!
Texting in a romantic relationship should exist solely for two reasons: exchange of information ("Publix ran out of lamb, should we grill chicken instead?") or for sweet nothings ("good morning my love!"). Anything else should be done in person.
Post-it notes don't count either ...