Silicone Bitch: How To Spot a Social Media Douchebag

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Just for fun ...



THE SCRIPT

Interviewer: Hi, we have reviewed your application for Social Media Douchebag. What makes you think you are qualified?

Douchebag: For starters, my shrink told me I'm a total egomaniac narcissist.

Interviewer: Impressive. There are few people like that in the social media industry. What else?

Douchebag: I have social media douchebaggery down to an art. I tweet all kinds of self-promoting stuff, organize self-promoting events and masturbate in front of a mirror.

Interviewer: Aren't you supposed to engage people and be social?

Douchebag: Oh yeah, sure, but it's all a ruse. It's all about ME, ME, ME all the time. I never support anyone else's social media events unless I can milk it for my own purposes. I love leeching off other social media influencers who are genuine.

Interviewer: It certainly seems you are qualified. We will notify you after we've interviewed other applicants.

Douchebag: I'm the greatest social media douchebag of all time. Don't waste your time interviewing those other social media douchebag posers. When I log onto Linkedin, people tremble in fear.

Interviewer: Great. So you won't mind it if the door kicks your ass on the way out.