Bringing Hairy Back

Happy New Year's y'all! Hope to see y'all real soon!

justin timberlake, bringing sexy back, cartoon, celebrity, britney spears, uterus

Manola Diagnosed with Turnstile Dysfunction

In case you are going through Manola withdrawal, here is a video shot by BFF Shveckle during a visit to NYC circa June 2003.

If only the NYC subway was as easy to handle as a sex toy! But no! This Brooklyn station turned Manola into a mass-transit-challenged drama queen!


TRANSCRIPT OF RIVETING DIALOGUE

Not to be read with sexual innuendo ...

Shveckle: Just flip it through!
Manola: I'm lost!
Shveckle: One more. Go! 18 second before it comes!
Manola: I'm lost! I don't know anything!

tags: manola, video, subway, comedy, new york city, sex toy, you tube

Professional vs. Amateur

Manola is still on hiatus, but the universe has once again served an irresistible morsel on its silver platter.

If an alien were to land on South Beach, he would surely be confused. The line between club fashions and a prostitute's uniform is blurred, without the benefit of a perineum. Where else in the world can you dress like a cunt and look like an ass?

For example, can you tell if these women are soliciting tricks or simply prowling the nightclubs?



Look closely. Don't let the daisy dukes fool you! Hint: the woman on the right has broken the cardinal rule of streetwalking. Girlfriend, never go anywhere near a street drain while wearing stilletos! Tsk, tsk! Don't you know a broken ankle can ruin your career?

Photograph courtesy of The Maestro.

tags: south beach, slut, stilleto

Britney Spears Thong Found Ailing on Miami Beach

Although Manola isn't dipping her quill in the ink, she couldn't resist sharing this photograph of a random thong she found lying on the sidewalk today. Don't worry, she contacted Horatio from Miami CSI immediately and didn't tamper with the evidence. Investigators suspect that this item of clothing may have desperately escaped from the loins of Britney Spears.

tags: miami beach, thong, britney spears, sidewalk

Meme Manola

Mr. Burnettiquete is showing me some tough love or perhaps he's just pinching me to see if I'm awake. Although I am usually reluctant to play tag, here you go ... six weird things about the author of Sex and the Beach.

1. I once missed half a day of work to rescue a fledgling mourning dove that had fallen from its nest during a thunderstorm.
2. I 've stepped into quicksand.
3. I slept under the stars on a balcony in Tuscany because the night was so beautiful.
4. I've paddled over a barely submerged alligator in a tight mangrove tunnel in the Everglades; the alligator was bigger than the canoe.
5. I used to be afraid of doing headstand.
6. I'm the only woman I know who doesn't care for chocolate or shopping.

Oh and did I mention I'm blogging using the wi-fi at Arnie and Richie's deli on 41st street? That's not weird, that's cool! This deli first opened in 1948 and still serves the best Reuben south of Manhattan!

PS ... thanks to James and everyone for your encouragement. Don't worry, Manola will be back!

tags: manola, sex and the beach, tag, weird

Pimp My Pickle at Art Bagel

Yes, I'm on hiatus but god damn it flowing martinis in cheap plastic glasses, cuban atomic nipples, jewish pickled side dishes and enough snobbery to put the insta-clamper down on the many celebrity ludic vaginas lately ... how could I resist?

tags: art basel, miami beach, art, cartoon, pickle, pimp, parody, humor