Manola Hearts Her Readers! Happy Valentine's Day From Miami Beach!
Last year, still freshly wounded from her association with Mr. Thinks He's Huge, Manola pondered the meaning of Valentine's Day:
There are men who buy you flowers thinking they are going to seduce you for a night with such a simple gesture. There are men who pretend to want to spend the rest of their lives with you who never buy you flowers. And then there are men who buy you flowers because they love you and never want to spend a night without you. The MAN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH will know the difference. And so will you.We've come a long way, baby. In 2006, I wrote that I hadn't experienced "any garden-variety angst" about being single on Valentine's Day but the truth is, I could never have imagined how truly relieved I'd feel 365 days later.
As a matter of fact, having the opportunity to work on the most important relationship in your life -- yourself -- is quite liberating. After spending time wiping my ass clean of any shit that once called itself lover, I can proudly declare: my ass -- and most importantly -- my heart, is squeaky clean!
Approaching this holiday without buying into the commercial nonsense is an occasion to wake up and smell the love you do have in your life. And I do mean smell, in honor of the delicate metaphor. Bad love smells bad. Tastes bad. Looks bad. Feels bad. No amount of flowers in the world is going to cover up the smell of a rotten relationship. Yes, when you let your heart wallow in the cesspool of a crappy situation, love stinks, literally.
Yet, once you completely remove the odor-causing and offending walking penis from your life, you can really feel love coming at you from so many other directions. Perhaps this is why, this year, I can breathe a tremendous sigh of relief. The air smells sweet and I feel more loved than ever, even though I'm single.
Now, you anti-Valentine's Day grinches are just as annoying as the corny couples. One bunch of grumpy, frustrated single people complaining about a day that celebrates love makes me roll my eyeballs just as much as a couple of teenagers sit swapping spit in front of me at the movie theater.
You can still celebrate love without a lover. Love is love. Go do some good lovin', will ya?
tags: love, valentine's day, relationships, single, personal growth, self realization