Father Alberto, Get A Room!

Alright, I'm so over the whole Father Alberto thing. And you know what gets me the most? Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, if not millions of young, attractive men and women in this great nation of ours endure each day without getting laid. Do you realize how much better the world would be if the greater part of the adult population in this country was actually sexually satisfied? Good lord! Praise the heavens! Blessings almighty!

Dude, if you take a vow of celibacy, and then you break it, you are technically offending the rest of us horny bastards who would gladly lick the moldy grout on our shower tiles every morning and call it sex ... but no ... YOU get to have hot holy horny sex under your frocks, which is why -- all classical morals aside -- it is so wrong. If you're gonna have sex (God damn it!) be a man, grow a holy pair, and freakin' OWN IT.

Because otherwise, you are having a shrimp appetizer in front of a bunch of starving Ethiopian children, and that's not just an episode from South Park, that's just NOT RIGHT.

Well, maybe this is all happening for a reason. Perhaps Sex and the Beach could start a new non-profit organization to help all the celibate people in the world get their rocks off ... or something.