Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Lunch? What Lunch? An Afternoon with South Florida Firefighters
Because I'm one of the luckiest bloggers in the world, I had a chance to attend the 15th Annual Secretary's Day Luncheon, a charity event to benefit the South Florida Firefighters Calendar, which as we already know, supports a variety of great local causes. The purpose of this event was not only to raise funds, but to allow a bunch of horny gals to vote for next year's calendar beefcakes.
I have never seen so many plates of banquet chicken left cold on the table for the real meat that was up on the runway. To say that Stayfree pantyliners should've sponsored this event is an understatement. I didn't check, but I'm sure that eau de wide-on was flowing as much as the wine from the cash bar.
Shrieks of joy were heard. Smiles of ecstasy filled the room. Adonises danced on stage. It could've been a Greek play set to Reggaeton, except dollar bills were whipped out and then it reminded me of a couple of bachelorette parties I've attended at La Bare -- except that here they didn't take their pants off and they didn't exactly stick their crotches in your face. But it didn't matter. Women are sensual creatures; sometimes we want things left to the imagination. Sometimes junk in the bunker gear is a good thing and this was enough for lunchtime titillation.
These guys could move. The one I interviewed (see below) was humble about it, but trust me when I tell you, they put on quite a show.
And by the way, don't forget, they do actually save lives. I nabbed this Search and Rescue pro just before the runway show started.
IF YOU COME
Ehem ... ladies, if you go to any charity event next year, this is the best bang for you buck, literally. You get to mingle with the guys -- fully clothed -- until the show starts and then you get plenty of one-on-one shirtless photo opportunities after the voting. Jade Alexander, Mistress of Ceremonies, is a riot and her routine alone is worth the price of admission. You don't have to be a secretary to enjoy this! Individual tickets are about $60 but you can put a group together and get a table. Each guest gets a copy of the calendar plus a bag full of quality goodies. The cheapest tables still have great views and you can always walk up to the runway. Don't forget to bring dollar bills!
And remember, it's not just about pecs, six packs and hot dance moves, it's about the charities -- Here's Help and a Safe Haven for Newborns -- as well as Friends Forever Rescue.
Media isn't allowed to reveal the winners, so I'll have to keep mum. Stay tuned for the grand announcement this August. You can bet your squirting fire hose I'll be there.