Friday, January 12, 2007

Ass and the Beach

best butt on the beach manola

My counsel hath advised me that my male subjects hath committed mockery of the Adonis recently admitted to court. Lest it be written in the anals of history that Queen Manola runneth a petticoat empire to appease the meek desires of the frail sex, I hereby declareth that soft porn shall be meted out justly among knights and damsels both. In this fair kingdom, where flesh serveth as social currency, Queen Manola must not govern with an iron dildo but with a spandex thong. I therefore present to thee, oh salacious gentlemen who careth not to address thy pieces of meat by the Gods of ancient Greece, some pageantry from the Best Butt on the Beach, held at the earthly paradise known as The Clevelander Hotel.

Upon learning of the Queen's generous dispensation, Sir Lancelot, winner of the archery games, bent down on his knees and kissed the hands of the gracious Queen. "Oh your royal vagina," declared the knight. "How magnanimous of thee to provide our sex with a veritable cornucopia of bull's eye! Where dost thou advise me to sticketh my arrow?"

Photograph courtesy of Miami Fever

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12 comments:

Steven Novak said...

I'm gonna be honest...I didn't read a word of it...

You should really put pictures like that at the END of the post...otherwise those of us with penis's will simply stare. ;)

Steve~

Manola Blablablanik said...

Steve, we have a literacy program for your condition. Please contact the counselors at Books Before Boners. :-)

Tere said...

To be fair, if my ass looked like that, I'd hang out in dental floss all day long, too!

Jonathan said...

Thanks, M. That's very sweet of you. Though, to be honest, I only come here for the articles.

Freckle Face Girl said...

Those are some BRAVE girls!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

The "anals" of history, eh? I'll say!!!

I'm guessing that's Manola's "anal" on the right. Nice and fleshy!

B said...

There's nothing brave there, just proud...and rightly so.

Verticus S. Erectus said...

I gotta get out more often.

goingwiddershins said...

Ha! Iron dildo! Thanks for the mental image of an uptight, sexually deprived medieval queen branding a sex toy to bash in the heads of lackadaisical suitors.

Duran said...

monala is your hiatus over yet? because i haven't really felt you've been on hiatus to begin with. not that i'm complaining!

Sinfonian said...

I think mighty dyckerson beat me to it, but I was going to ask, Manola, which of those is you?

Manola Blablablanik said...

Hi Duran, thank you for the observation. I suppose you could call this semi-hiatus. Since I declared hiatus, I had no intention of posting, but sometimes you have to go with the flow, and in this case, some images were definitely hard to pass up, hence the reason I have only posted a couple of cartoons and brief commentary inspired by images. Mainly, I went on hiatus from writing, so I have not posted any of the usual original, lengthier material. I do intend to be completely off hiatus sometime this month though! Stay tuned!