Femmes are from Bars, Men are from Penis

Once upon a time, a woman loved a man and he loved her. They shared porridge, TV and a sofa under one roof.

One evening, after porridge, the man and the woman cuddled on the sofa. Flipping through the channels on the remote, which was resting erect on his over-sized gut, he stopped at Fashion TV and said, "wow, look at those gorgeous bodies."

She shuddered at his comment, let go of his arm and went to bed.

She had a dream of these bodies strutting down the runway, and how her own horribly fat and disfigured body would never be able to compete with her lover's desire.

He fucked her the next morning, just to get his rocks off.

The next evening, they ate their porridge, sat on the sofa and cuddled as usual. Flipping through the channels on the remote, which was resting erect on his over-sized gut, he came across an exposé of Paris Hilton and said, "I bet you hate her."

She shuddered at his comment, let go of his arm and went to bed.

She had a dream of Paris Hilton, strutting on the runway, wearing nothing but genital warts and her ridiculous vulgarity.

And then she realized, her body was not fat or horribly disfigured at all. Why on earth would she ever want to compete with her lover's desire?

He fucked her the next morning, just to get his rocks off.

The next evening, the man arrived home to find no woman, no porridge and no love.

See, on that day, the woman had as many vodka tonics as she needed at her local watering hole, instead of cooking porridge. She took a cab home, cuddled on the sofa with a solitary blanket, kept the TV tuned to CNN and eventually slumped into bed alone.

Instead of fucking her the next morning, just to get his rocks off, she told him to fuck off.

Moral of the story: Men, don't ever underestimate a woman's intelligence. And most importantly -- women -- don't ever OVERESTIMATE a man's.