Sunday, December 16, 2007

Manola's Meatballs

A possible alternative to the traditional chef uniform at Manola's restaurant.

I want to open a restaurant on South Beach called Manola's Meatballs. If I did, would you come and eat? All this talk about about food got me thinking that Jeffrey Chowderhead of Vagina Grill Management should consider investing in this deep-fried golden opportunity.

Hmm, I'm trying to think of a place with Paula Deen hospitality minus a Jerry Springer brawl. Good gourmet food that doesn't require a bank loan to afford, yet would appeal to the palate of Mario Batali. I'd love the hostess to be Anthony Bourdain in drag and I'd want Andrew Zimmerman to be the sommelier of offal. A place where a red carpet bouncer doesn't let anyone in with a BMI under 18 yet doesn't feed Mr. Creosote his last wafer-thin mint. A restaurant where cornstarch and lard are used in moderation. A hot spot that's not so hot -- kind of like McBarton G -- fast food with a xanax edge, the kind of thing Paris Hilton would eat in prison, if she were incarcerated for not buying enough art work at Art Basel. In short, a festive gathering place in between my Cuban mother's hospitality and the slickness of the Ritz, where "shut up and eat" is the motto and most importantly, no pretentious bullshit. Everybody's a celebrity at Manola's Meatballs -- we'll even say that with a hot-red neon sign!

Oh, I exaggerate! What would us regular schmucks love in a South Beach restaurant, besides meatballs? I'm serious! Leave comments.

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8 comments:

Geno said...

I definitely do like the name for the restaurant! Definite visual appeal...

Michelle said...

Besides the fact that I think there are too many Italian restaurants in South Beach already, I love the concept.

For the first time the other day I made meatballs in the slow cooker. They were a perfect texture and I think with a couple more tries, I could make the meatballs taste just like I like.

Her's the recipe in case anyone wants to try:

1 1/2# ground beef
1 1/4 cups Italina bread crumbs
1/4 chopped frh parsley (I used parsley flakes but make sure you use the correct substitution amount)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium yellow onion, hopped
1 egg, beaten
1 (28oz) jar spaghetti sauce
1 (16oz) can crushed tomatoes
1 (14.25oz) can tomato puree

Directions:
Mix the ground beef, bread crumbs, parsley, onion, garlic, and egg. Shape into 16 meatballs.

Mix the tomato sauce, crushed tomatoes, and tomato puree.

Put 1/2 the sauce in the slow cooker, add the meatballs, and top with the rest of the sauce.

Cook on Low for 6 - 8 hours.

YUM!

C.L. Jahn said...

Oh, please, not Tony Bourdain in drag.
Please, no.
No.
Just...no.
Please.

NicFitKid said...

What do I want in a SoBe restaurant?

Pauper pricing.

Lincoln Basel said...

Like the name. Like the neon sign-- especially if those meat-a-balls are bouncing.

A Margarita said...

As long as they have mojitos that don't cost $14, I am set.

Salome's Mom said...

Manola, por favor, reservame una mesa immediatamente!

circuitmouse said...

remember when you had to wait for your server to stop looking at themselves in the mirror in order to get their attention?

He'd be worth it... except someone would probably even steal the mirror...