When Baristas Talk About Sex at Starbucks

Classic Sex and the Beach. Cartoon by Yours Truly, circa 2007.

"She does everything but vaginal when she has her period," said one Starbucks barista to his coffee colleague.

And so begins my tame evening in Miami Beach this Wednesday night with a creamy decaf to keep me company. After a few years of living on the mainland, I've returned to the scene of the crime. The heart of South Beach is my home for a spell.

I've come to the coffee shop to write and I overhear a conversation about sex during menstruation. So when baristas talk about sex, you have mundane epiphanies.

Ten years ago, I was amused by the fact that hunky Argentinians -- blessed with legs molded by soccer, limbs thicker than a juicy churrasco that would make any girl chimi her churri -- populated SoBe like so many cigarette butts in the sand. They were all named Alejandro. Seriously, all of them. Just ask the U.S. census. A massive cloud of chéromones clung to the atmosphere and blew our miniskirts like a warm, breezy douche spray on our stuffed empanadas.

Sex was in the air. Sex was everywhere. Sex and the Beach was born.

I worshipped at the altar of wanton.

Ten years later, it seems like the blog went from Lolita to Luddite over night. Where did the sex go? Did it really get 86'd at Lost Weekend? Did it end up in the bathroom stall at Club Deuce? Where is my futbol Adonis of yore? Having coffee at Manolo's with his wife and rug rats?

Ouch. Lights on, last call. Walk of shame toward this adulting thing. So very dull.

Maybe the sex got wiped out after a hurricane. Maybe it oozes out with the floodwaters in the storm drains. I told you South Beach was shallow. Literally. A barrier island afloat under the weight of luxury condos, silicon boobs and gold digger's pockets.

Cartoonist Hugh Macleod said it, too.

Ten years later, I write at Starbucks with a warm Americano instead of a sizzling Argentino. I worship at the altar of vagrant buddhas. I attend Town Hall meetings about the homeless and hang out with environmental activists who, like me, are witnesses to a paradise trashed. It's everything but shallow. Damn. People who live like they live here. People who care.

Don't let the hookah bars on Lincoln Road, the fishbowl drinks on Ocean Drive and the used condoms strewn on the beach fool you. Toss that glossy tourism brochure in the recycle bin. This is a real city --gritty and grimy, gaudy and glamorous -- all at once.

But yawn. How unbearably prosaic.

And then tonight, a glimmer of hope. The fucking barista is shouting in Spanish about the sexual proclivities of his girlfriend. A young woman walks in for a latte with boy shorts riding so far up her curvy butt cheeks, I'm reminded of the great South Beach sanitation crisis of 2006.

Thank God you didn't get all Kendall on me, South Beach, you crazy-ass island full of contradictions. Oh Beachhattan, I love you in all your decadent glory. Like me, you tell it like it is. You really do.

Except for one thing.

I lied. I know where the sex went ... I'm just not going to tell you.

Breaking News! Jurassic Era Blogger Celebrates Ten Years of Shenanigans

Manola's Professional Demise. Cartoon by Yours Truly, circa 2006.

This week, this little ole blog celebrates ten years of good laughs, good cries and lots of adventures!

It all started 10 years ago over drinks at Segafredo on Lincoln Road. After one of my usual people-watching quips, a friend, who couldn't contain herself from laughing, said: "Oh my God, Maria, you're hilarious. Why don't you write all this shit down?"

I didn't even know what a blog was back then, let alone writing in the digital sphere. While putzing around in teh Googles, I came across an orange button with a funny looking letter B on it. The rest was history.

My, how far we've come. In ten years, I developed a whole new set of voices, met so many interesting people who've become dear friends, earned followers (yes, because like friends, you have to "earn" them, not "buy" them), worked with amazing brands without becoming a corporate shill and enjoyed the travel industry's support to make my nutty forays a reality. (Who else drives all over Florida looking for pirates?)

I still don't monetize this blog directly and probably never will. Yet, every single job I've gotten since October 2005 has been because of the blog.

One of my favorites was penning a sex and relationships column for City Link Magazine as Manola Blablablbanik. (Sex and the Animals was a hoot!)

But I'm still me, even through several iterations of pen names, while witnessing the lightning-speed evolution of social media over a decade. I count myself as part of a rare, old breed in the blogosphere -- dinosaur wordsmiths still plodding along as writer's writers -- while swimming along with the ever-rising waves of social technology. It's not that we're struggling against the current. We know better. Every surfer has to swim out to calm before catching the wave.

That's the beauty of it. Heck, I'm still sailing on my rickety old blogspot schooner and it has carried me over some stormy waters mighty fine. If it aint broke, don't fix it. I don't write for numbers, fame or glory. I write from the heart and with love. And I still tell it like it is.

And so it goes. Merrily we roll along.

Is this blog really a dinosaur? Nah. The good stuff lasts. Here's to one very sexy and smart adolescent.

This week, I'll be highlighting some of Sex and the Beach's top moments and capping it all with a shindig at the lovely Hotel Chelsea in the heart of South Beach -- right where it all started.

Stay tuned! Thanks for being part of this journey all these years.

In the meantime, visit some other places where I've wandered ...

Who can forget my role as social media and tech columnist at Miami New Times, where I once interviewed a Coral Gables literature nerd who serializes Proust's Search for Lost Time on Twitter? Silicon Beach eventually moved URLs and became Silicone Bitch. For Knight Foundation, I interviewed spunky Reddit founder Alex Ohanian, who should seriously consider bottling his energy.

Over at Miami Beach 411, I penned many stories, including 10 Things To Do in Downtown Miami, which was so good, I guess, that one Russian website decided to translate it lock, stock and barrel. (Eventually, they credited me.) Currently, I'm enjoying my role as contributor to a fresh, new online publication at The New Tropic. (My #miamischlep tweets are legendary.)

Silicone Bitch: Happy Blog Birthday, SxSe, 30-Day Blog Challenge and More!

Summer was rather slow for Silicone Bitch but the fall season is picking up to a nice pace.

Sex and the Beach celebrated its 5th anniversary in 2010. Where else but on Miami Beach? This month, the blog is seven years old. Maybe we'll throw another party at the decade mark. Photo by Liam Crotty.

FREE SEXUAL FAVORS

But before we get into the latest news, behold the beautiful graphic to the right. Miami New Times must love me long time, because they nominated Sex and the Beach plus my Twitter account for Web Awards!  You may recall that Silicone Bitch is an offshoot of the Silicon Beach column I used to pen for Riptide.  Well, I heart Miami New Times, too!

If you heart me and the exhilarating content I have been providing for donkey's ages, perhaps you'll kindly vote for me under the Miami, Art/Culture and Twitter (@vicequeenmaria) categories.

Thanks for the nominations, Miami New Times! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday gift, since Sex and the Beach celebrated its seventh anniversary on October 5th. (Funny, I forgot about it.)

SXSE

SxSe attendees none the worse for wear during Sunday's late breakfast in Key Largo.

A group of social media friends got together at the end of September for the 5th annual SxSe, South Florida's oldest continuing tweetup tradition and unconference. This year, the group consisted mostly of social media professionals, many of whom discussed the finer points of Google + and other topics while sipping cool cocktails under the palm trees.  South by Southeast just so happened to take place at the tail end of Social Media Week; however, the two events were unrelated.

Prior to the weekend, yours truly, @alexdc and @lisadsparks presented lectures on blogging for business, mobile marketing and email marketing, respectively.  The event?  The Florida Keys Digital Media Conference -- a first of its kind social media educational event in Monroe County.

Florida Keys individuals and businesses connected with Miami-Dade, Broward, Palm Beach and even Tampa peeps over the subject of social media. Kudos to Shirley Wilson (@keys2bsocial) for organizing a great conference.

But back to the party, which coincidentally happened to piggy back on the conference. SxSe headquarters was the elegant but laid-back Key Largo Hilton, where lazing in the crystal-clear water beach was the order of the day, even if we did talk shop.  The tweetup took place at The Pilot House Glass Bottom Bar, where we enjoyed Pirate's Booty, an award-winning rum cocktail by owner Don Brown.

SEA TWEETUP

Another great social event is coming up this week: the second annual SeaTweetup social media conference and gathering aboard Norwegian Cruise Lines. Sea Tweetup is sold out, so you can't sail on this particular love boat, but stop by the EPIC hotel on Thursday for a Bon Voyage party at Area 31.

30-DAY BLOGGER CHALLENGE

A bunch of South Floridians heard the call by @alexdc of Social Media Club South Florida to get disciplined about blogging.  When it comes to blogging, consistency is key. You gotta do it and stick to it, just like any fitness routine. Below is the list of participating bloggers, some of whom are businesses.  Yours truly isn't part of the challenge, but I'll be cheering everyone on from the sidelines.

Follow the blogging shenanigans on Twitter as well with the hashtag #SMCSFBlogOff.

(We hope Rick from South Florida Daily Blog will forgive us for this long reading list!)

http://BrendaLeguisamo.com

http://heartsdesireintl.com

http://themarkethacker.com

http://marcenriquez.com/blog

http://vizred.com/blog

http://tonyvainosky.com

http://theaublog.wordpress.com/

http://nonseafoodeats.wordpress.com/

http://flamingolips.com

http://www.mynameisnotlisa.com

http://SeymourResults.com

http://alexdc.org

http://bohemianbabushka.blogspot.com/

http://www.underwaterportraitphotography.blogspot.com/

http://le-manchot.blogspot.fr/

http://theinnovativeconsultant.com

http://www.waxcom.com/impressions/

http://tatianacast.com/category/blog/

http://www.smallbizninja.com/

http://bluecompassmarketing.wordpress.com

http://amaroedolce.wordpress.com

http://tacotamer.com/

http://andreinthetropics.wordpress.com/

http://westcoconutgrovecrimewatch.tumblr.com/

http://thepassionistablog.wordpress.com/

http://debracortese.com/blog/

http://shirleywilson.com/

http://marlenembryan.wordpress.com/

http://thedudeoforkut.blogspot.com

http://www.giglogo.com

http://www.yourcommercialsucks.tumblr.com

http://missionlaunch.com/frontpage

http://www.onesoulholistic.com/anahataom/blog

http://www.jessicaalexandre.com

http://www.supernerdo.net

http://huff.to/SILauR

http://freeammy.wordpress.com

MORE LOCAL SOCIAL MEDIA NEWS

Left to right: Joe Martinez, Hanae Kimura and Cynthia Seymour discuss Google + at Social Media Club South Florida in a panel moderated by Liza Walton.

Social Media Club South Florida is in full swing. We met earlier this month to discuss Google + and have a November meetup scheduled the second Tuesday of the month about Wordpress. Yours truly is on the board now but as always, I encourage you to join us for free, educational networking meetups. Follow Social Media Club South Florida on Facebook.

Refresh Miami, a web and tech meetup community, has also started gearing up for a great season.  Learn more at Refresh Miami.

Did you know the "Fantastic Four of Miami" has a tech startup that's all about social shopping?   Read more at Startropica.

Silicone Bitch: GM Southeast Grassroots Awards

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Some South Florida social media and blogging royalty, left to right: @zipporahs, @dayngr, @johnnybond86, @miamishines, @vicequeenmaria, @thetinyjewelbox, @lapp,@midtownchica, @teachme2save. Visit each Twitter account for links to their respective websites. Missing here: @lizawalton.

In my last column, I bitched about the sometimes conflicting relationship between brands and bloggers, pointing out some of the confusing and negative aspects of those connections.

Well, this column is going to highlight a positive relationship and a brand that does it right.

Yesterday, a bunch of bloggers and social media influencers gathered at the South Florida Auto Show in the Miami Beach Convention Center for a GM Southeast "thank you" reception. For all of us who have worked with Chevy and other GM cars, it was a nice affair with food and drinks.

GM Southeast has been collaborating with bloggers and social media influencers on a hyperlocal, grassroots level for a while now, sponsoring fun events like pizza and croqueta crawls, among others.

They have supported my crazy travel and fishing trips as well the big tweetup SxSe, which I have been organizing in part with other co-conspirators for the last 4 years. GM also sponsored my participation at the National Association of Hispanic Journalist's conference this summer.

(Boy, FTC, hope you are happy now? I've disclosed so much, you can practically see my titties! Better get my pasties on.)

The women on the team, one who happens to be local blogger Midtown Chica, are a pleasure to work with, open to ideas for all kinds of creative projects that help content producers fulfill a vision or facilitate some event. They keep a fleet of cars for journalists and others just for this purpose, all managed by the very cute guys at Prestige, who deliver the car loans to your door.

GM events are always flawlessly organized, despite many logistical challenges. I know how hard it is to organize social media events, so I appreciate their work.

I was talking to a head PR honcho from GM yesterday about my relationship with Ford, which never really flowered after the Fiesta Movement; it was like a sudden divorce. Mind you, Ford was nothing short of spectacular during the Fiesta Movement. They were wonderful to work with during the project and I am extremely grateful to have been part of it; however, the follow-up was nil and I never heard back about some of my proposals to continue producing great adventure stories with Ford cars. I just assumed Ford had a similar fleet of cars like GM does for local bloggers, but I guess they don't or didn't.

Do you see what I'm getting at here? After seven months of being surgically attached to a Ford Fiesta, the umbilical chord was severed and the relationship fizzled quickly. Not good, right?

This is the big difference. I have said this before and will say it again. It's not about the car, it's about great things that happen with the car on an on-going basis.

It's all about community outreach and support -- yesterday, one guy who won an award actually went out of his way to take his Corvette loan to an under-served school in Liberty City so the kids could enjoy a ride.

I have worked with other car brands but GM and Chevy get my thumbs up for a regional department that gets it. It's no wonder the agency won the PR News Award for Best Digital PR Campaign of the Year in the $100K budget or under.

Our very own Jewel's Fab Life and Craig Agranoff won recognition that was well deserved; they are movers and shakers that make cool things happen. Unfortunately not pictured here, Heather Radi-Bermudez from FIU.

See brands? This is how it's done. Not once in all my work with GM was anything expected of me out of obligation, but out of mutual support and gratitude. They treat me like family. This is why I work with no other car brands and have stayed mainly loyal to GM.

Not that I wouldn't work with other car brands, but I have turned down projects because of this great relationship. I once passed on food crawl with Infiniti because I had just done a Chevy project. I told Midtown Chica: "I'm not a car ho. I'm not going to cheat on GM."

And by the way, GM is loaning me an Equinox for my last Trail of the Pirates investigation, which will be at Pirates in Paradise in Key West this December. This means I don't have to put miles on my old jalopy Toyota, which is a huge help for the long drive. Does that count as my FTC disclosure? (Insert eye roll.)

The Day The Music Died: RIP Steve Jobs

I almost hesitated to prepare a dispatch on Steve Jobs, but how could I not write a tribute to the man who changed the world?

Last night, I called my brother -- the mac guru who now lives in Hawaii -- seriously, he really is a total geek and has worked professionally in Apple IT -- to confirm the rumors I had seen on Twitter. Then I spoke all night with my blogger friend @skinnyjeans, who lives in Phoenix, on what this meant for all of us. Two women who usually talk about girly things, suddenly focused on Silicon Valley and the impact of technology.

Are you getting the gist of this? Mobile and global communication in just a matter of minutes.

I find it ironic that Jobs' death was announced just hours after the new iPhone 5 release. It's as if he was holding on for dear life, took his last breath and then said "look, I did it" before moving on.

Or maybe he died earlier. Maybe he passed on the same day as the much anticipated tech announcement and the spin engine of PR chose to delay the obituary.

Who knows? It doesn't matter.

Steve Jobs was a game changer, a paradigm shifter, a man for all ages -- can I come up with more corny praises? Whatever. He shall not soon be replaced.

Where do we go from here? I think it's no coincidence this whole "Mayan calendar" event horizon is supposed to happen next year. That isn't about the end of the world, but about transformation. This is about humanity being prehensile like monkeys using touch screens. This is about people like me reaching out to the world through a simple blog. This is a very exciting time to be alive and Steve Jobs was influential in that.

Seriously, young people out there ... what are you doing in tech and science to make this world a better place?

Jobs' death and battle with cancer was sad, but his life and accomplishments should be celebrated. We should ponder on how we can use technology to improve life for others who are suffering. We should take this momentum and go full speed ahead for good.

No other brand in the world could get people so emotionally passionate about technology. Good lord, I may be consciously practicing celibacy from a yoga and Buddhist point of view, but I am surgically attached to my iPhone. Thanks to this simple little device, I never feel lonely. (There's irony in that as well, but I'm chuckling. Technology is spiritual.)

I remember listening to Guy Kawasaki -- one of Apple's premiere evangelists -- when he came to do a talk in Coconut Grove for Network Solutions. He said something that always stuck with me. Apple came out with its first computer trusting that it would have a future, even though it wasn't perfect. The moral of the story was this: "Why wait? If you have a good idea, push it through and make it happen." Can you imagine if Apple had hesitated?

Perfectionism is not smart. It leads to stagnation. Being bold, imperfect and visionary is the way to go. Trusting in the process is key. There is no end to a good idea; there is evolution.

I shudder to think of the amazing technology we'll have in the future.

Oh and by the way, just look around you. Mother nature is a pretty good example of being bold, brilliant, visionary and yet imperfect. Models abound.

I remember writing my term papers at the University of Miami on some old macs, the little rectangle boxes. I almost wish I had one of those quaint antiques today, while I type this on my big-ass G5 desktop. Even fictional character Carrie Bradshaw penned her column Sex and the City on an old Powerbook G3 laptop, the repair of which was the subject of entire episode written to get her to trust her then beau Aidan Shaw.

Anyway, every day I have to remind my 80 year old parents how to do certain apple + keyboard functions on email when they're forwarding jokes on their iMac. I think Steve Jobs would be proud of that. Octogenarians using an iMac ... mission accomplished.

God bless Steve Jobs. Thank you.

Six Year Old Blog on Display at Museum of Natural History!

Six years ago, on October 8, I published my first post, Wax and Pap, which I still think is a good idea. Why not have a drive-through service where you can get a wax and pap, shoot two birds with one stone -- know what I mean? Look, you have all these fancy car wash places on Biscayne now. Talk about adding value to service: wax, pap, car wash and a glass of Chardonnay.

We've come a long way, baby, none the worse for wear.

Silicone Bitch: From the Blogger's Workshop

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Oh dear! My most important blogging tip? Keep good posture and support your lower back with a pillow! Photo via kchichster's flickr.

Yesterday, I led a workshop and brainstorming session for some wonderful people who are either already blogging or are interested in blogging. We had quite a creative South Florida group: an artist, a PR professional, a neuroscientist and yoga teacher, a financial trader and social media pro, and finally, a professional horse groomer.

My friend Ivan Mladenovic, owner of Preemo -- computer repairs and website development company -- generously hosted the space. Whereas I tend to focus on editorial, Ivan balanced the conversation out by chiming in with some very intelligent points about Wordpress and the more technical aspects of blogging.

Here are just a few things we shared in the jam-packed 2-hour session:

What is a successful blog?
That depends on your definition of "success." If making money is part of that, then yes, a monetized blog that actually makes money would be considered successful. However, blogging can open many doors and help you create community to connect with others. It can enrich your life when you use the blog as a means to an end, to self-publish and explore a topic you're passionate about.

How often should I blog?
This depends on the type of blog. If you are a magazine type blog with a huge readership, you're probably looking at least 3 posts a day minimum because you have a business engine obligated to push advertising. For the average blogger, this is not the case. You can also determine your pace and shape the expectations of your readership. One really good post once a week is better than several crappy, less crafted write-ups put out with more frequency. Quality and quantity need to remain in balance.

What are local Florida resources?
Try WordCamp, Wordpress meetups, WP Beginner and check out Refresh South Florida for Wordpress workshops and other geeky goodness.

Although I was the teacher in this scenario, in reality we were all teaching each other and as usual, I left the session incredibly grateful for the insight my "students" provided.

A "blog" is just an empty vessel, as I always say -- and it's a technical thing anyone can master. What you put in it is the key. Great and regular content is king here. You have to start thinking like a journalist, an editor and a publisher. It's a thing of beauty you can create, so long as you are persistent, consistent and authentic in your endeavor.

I plan on doing more of these workshops in the future. They are by donation and a great time to meet like-minded people who are interested in self-publishing.

It's Sex AND the Beach, Not ON It

The girl from Ipanema is always walking by and you know who has his shutter ready.

Well I'm sure everyone who didn't make it out this weekend was just scared of Miami Beach parking and who could blame you? But I know each and everyone one of you was there in spirits and boy, spirits we had, with $5 Punanitinis at C-Level at The Clevelander, which proved to be quite the classic South Beach party spot. No location would have been better for celebrating five years of Sex and the Beach; it was buzzing, electrified, non-stop with energy and gorgeous! Simply gorgeous! The whole of the island city laid out before us and no pun on the laid! For a second there, I almost thought I wasn't a Golden Girl candidate anymore.

(Oh but who am I kidding ... a few us were channeling Blanche Devereaux.)

Drinks and good times with a stunning view at The Clevelander. Available every weekend, people. Always a good time to celebrate.

I can't thank The Clevelander enough for sponsoring Sex and the Beach's fifth anniversary bash and putting me up for the night. My room, which faced the back alley, was cool, quiet (thankfully!) and the beds plush and comfy. But enough of that (you really don't want to know what happened in my room, right? Let's just say that "dial zero for booty call" is not available from the The Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau).

We had such an incredible time celebrating with an ocean view, balmy breezes, great music, food and drink, hanging out with old friends and making new ones, that I swear I would consider going back to the Cleve regularly. Locals, take advantage of their Rockstar rewards -- worth crossing the causeway. I'll put my money where my mouth is on that one ... oh wait, that's incredibly inappropriate considering everything that did not happen in my room!

Soul of Miami took some great pictures. These are my two favorites.

The Punanitini was good but could've been better. A little less triple sec and perhaps a splash of soda.

Now, I told you there would be punani at this party. The look on Annette's face is priceless.


My friend Carlos Miller shot a video, which features the cart wheeling babes. I swear, I didn't go to a Broward trailer trash flea market to hire this circus entertainment. It was a "normal" thing to do in South Beach. I don't know about you, but when I go to a fabulously chic, classy outdoor rooftop lounge and meet complete strangers, I strip down to a bikini, do cart wheels and flash my ass and pussy for the whole world to see.



Oh but forget about all that. There was the love, I tell you. The L - O - V- E. Friends far and wide, even those who couldn't make it in person, were in touch. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Wait no, let's go deeper than that, I thank you from head to toe!

But now let's get to the moment we've all been waiting for. Here are the winners of the drawing! Due to technical difficulties, we didn't hold the drawing during the party. (How could I, with all that punani in the air?) I held the drawing last night during a super secret ceremonial ritual with my friend @miamishines.

Drum roll! And the winners are ...

Dayngr from Dayngrous Discourse wins my beat-up and signed South Florida Firefighters Calendar.

Dori Zinn wins a Body System from Ardyss.

Anonymous (you know who you are) wins a facial from Body Care.

Karlene from The Cleve wins the Life Extension basket from kNOw-AGING.

Stephanie, aka Midtown Chica, wins a case of wine from Wine Sisterhood. I know she needs it because she's planning a wedding.

Jessie from Bites and Pieces wins a gift certificate to Journelle.

And last but not least, @pochaccoyoly wins the grand prize with a photo shoot by Ipanemic and hair and makeup by D & L Hair Studio!

I want to thank all of you for supporting and following this blog for the last five years. May there be many more years of good reads and fun around the corner.

But enough about me. Celebrate yourself and what you do everyday! Follow your passion.

And about the title of this post ... a friend of mine tweeted me just before the party:



My reply: if you don't want to get sand in your delicate parts, don't have sex on the beach. Have sex and the beach. Why not? A little preposition makes all the difference in the world!

Silicone Bitch: Is Blogging Really That Blogalicious?

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Blogalicious 2010 in South Beach last weekend was incredibly inspiring. The conference had a friendly, fun and social atmosphere, but it was also dead serious on the the pros and cons of this thing we do called blogging. Panels, discussions and breakout sessions focused on myriad topics -- from all the technical details of blogging to the personal branding that comes along with the craft -- and everything in between.

(By the way, if you've been hanging around here, you know that I take exception to the word blogger and prefer to call it self-publishing, so bear with me while I still use the offensive term.)

Blogalicious was true to its mission of celebrating diversity in blogging and although some emphasis was placed on women of color and latinas, at the end of the day, we were all women of many colors, of many geographic origins, of many creeds and beliefs, of varying incomes, educations, sexual orientations and statuses; we were single women, married women, divorced women, childless women, mommy bloggers, fat, skinny, women ... but who cares what we looked like in the end and where we were from? And heck, there were even some men in the crowd!

What truly mattered is that we all had one thing in common: we were each of us a woman with a voice who has something to say and wasn't afraid to say it, empowered by the entrepreneurial lifestyle of self-publishing. Many of us had already taken the leap of faith; some of us were just mustering up the courage to press that "publish post" button.

And all of this got me thinking about the price we have to pay for this blogging thing we so stubbornly pursue. Being a self-publisher comes at a price. If you're a serious blogger who has thought about making a living at blogging, you know the practice comes with some sacrifice.

Here are some thoughts that have been swishing about in my brain since last weekend.

SACRIFICE
For me, having a blog has meant sacrificing energy and time, turning away crappy "paying" work only because I believe so much in this damn thing. Call me an idiot if you like, but I'd rather be writing for me than for some factory mill even if that means having to make certain choices about how I live my life -- choices that might be difficult for others to understand; choices that mean giving up certain securities and comforts. In other words, you need cojones and conviction to do it and to own it deep down inside, even if you have to give up many milestones a more traditional life path may have had in store for you. This isn't everyone woman's blogging story, but it's certainly mine and that of other single women I know.

RELATIONSHIPS
Which begs the question, women bloggers out there: is their a gender role issue in blogging and the independent lifestyle you need to maintain a good blog? Can men handle the independence you need to go out and cover events? Are they jealous? And if you're a wife or mom, are you willing to take the time away from your spouse or children to self-publish? I realize this isn't just about women (men could face the same issues as well), but I've found some guys just can't deal with the commitment I have to my self-publishing lifestyle.

DEALING WITH BRANDS
I'm more and more convinced each day that if you're not pitching to brands, you're not ready for a brand to support you. Take time to find those relationships that work for your blog. If your stuff is good, find something that's just as good to support your material and think of creative ways to incorporate it into your website.

But for pete's sake, don't be a shill. Don't do straight-out product reviews! Instead, do something really cool that provides great content; there's got to be something in it for you and your readers. Yes, we do have to make money, but there has to be a compromise -- aim for a relationship to a brand that provides elegant and quality support of your editorial.

Tell brands you're interested in advertising opportunities instead of product reviews. You seriously don't want to be all advertorial. Milk them ... what have you got to lose? Remember, they are sucking up to us because they know how powerful we can be as social media influencers.

SELLING OUT
On the other hand, and I really mean seriously on the other fucking hand, when you get to paid to blog, invariably, you might feel like you have to sell out a little. How much are you willing to sell out (if we must call it that) and for whom? South Florida Daily Blog recently discussed that in a post about the blogging scene regarding Carlos Miller's move to Pixiq. It's not fair for bloggers to have to starve forever. Cut us some slack. I don't think Miller is selling out. He's doing what he needs to do to keep doing what he's been doing and so good for him.

HOBBY VERSUS WORK
One of the most annoying things about a being a self-publisher is explaining your line of "work" to people who don't get it, especially those from older generations. Only other bloggers and a few digital savvy people get what I do. Everyone else thinks I'm a professional slacker or something, which of course, provides great fodder for humor. But seriously: it's not a hobby. It's hard work on top of the other work I already have to do. See section "sacrifice" above.

THE ANSWER IS YES
Is blogging really blogalicious? Why yes it is! But blogging comes at a price and one that is definitely worthwhile. I don't think any woman walked away from this weekend without questioning the concept of blogging; yet with that questioning came also came a strong desire to do her own creative thing in self-publishing.

When guest speaker Marc Morial, President and CEO of the National Urban League, brought up the invention of the Guttenberg Press in a general session on Sunday morning, he knew damn well what he was talking about. Voice and broadcast is a powerful.

And I think (I hope), I speak for all of us that we left the conference with a better understanding of a digital sisterhood. Let's not self-publish in a vacuum. Hopefully for some, a sisterhood will translate into real-life relationships of support and friendship as we grow collectively into a vanguard generation of self-publishers.

If you're interested in seeing where Blogalicious is headed next year, make sure to follow the conference on twitter @Beblogalicious. Kudos to the "Justices" for organizing it a second year in a row and thanks to all the sponsors. Miami Beach was lucky to have this conference!

An extra treat: see a video capture of CNN journalist Soledad O'Brien while she did a Skype conference from her home with Blogalicious. (Via @anandaleeke.)

BREAKING NEWS! Sex and the Beach Is Too Fat For Its Pants!

The sky's the limit. Trunk Bay in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Photo by yours truly.

Sex and the Beach is approaching its fifth-year anniversary! Who knew the voice of Manola Blablablanik would have come this far? Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that I've been blogging for that long, and as with any project of a creative nature, it's natural (and very healthy) for things to evolve. So here's a sneak preview of what's to come:

TRAVEL

As some of you already know, I currently do travel writing about South Florida and moderate a local travel and living advice forum Florida at Miami Beach 411. But many years before all this online writing, I was an active travel writer specializing in Caribbean beach destinations. While I was wrapping up grad school, I worked part-time as an editor and staff contributor for Honeymoon Romantic Travel Magazine, penning an occasional article for Caribbean Travel and Life. Obviously I was all about the tropics back then, because my post-graduate work was in Caribbean studies, during which time I was planning on writing a doctoral dissertation related to Caribbean/South Florida history and literature.

It was a trip to Grenada that changed my life and tossed me into the heady seas of freelance writing, leaving academia behind. I knew that I had a passion for the Caribbean and South Florida, but that my audience should be broader.

Well, let's just fast forward to today. I put travel writing on hold for several years but that passion hardly ever lost its spark, so at long last, I'm opening up a whole new travel section here, which is a no-brainer, obviously. Sex and the Beach intends to cover as many romantic beach or waterfront destinations a girl can take!

To start with, I will cover much of Florida (yes I know, it's ironic because of the oil spill), and as soon as my passport is renewed, I'll be puddle jumping around our neighboring islands and eventually jetting beyond ... Mendocino and Madeira are on my list too!

Stay tuned in August for a premiere story about romancing the Keys! I'll be wending my way down the island chain stopping at a couple of romantic resorts. A special Hawaii edition for September is in the planning stages.

FOOD

Expect more food stories whenever the fancy strikes me. I'm not really a "food writer" or "critic" but I do enjoy good eats and the bounty of friendships surrounding the experience, not to mention the sensuality, culture and history associated with food.

OPENSKY SHOP



Yeah, a girl has to make a living, too. I've signed on to OpenSky, a new paradigm on monetizing blogs based on one's influence and reach in a community. As some of you know, I'm very active on Twitter, and while I may not (thankfully!) have a following of thousands, I do have a solid following that trusts my opinion. This has come from years of cultivating relationships and connections both online and in real life, which is what social media is all about, as far as I'm concerned.

From time to time, I will be posting here about products that I've personally tried, endorse and just think are way cool and practical, especially for the single woman or the single woman in you. And just like I did with the Ford Fiesta project, I'll make those posts interesting even if you're not interested in buying a damn thing. My intention is to seek out products that are as local as possible for South Florida readers to enjoy.

This is an experiment for now, so we'll see how it goes. I encourage other bloggers to try the OpenSky project too.

SPONSORS

Expect to see more sponsor ads on the sidebar and occasional link ads on random blog posts. All my sponsors are businesses that I've talked to and checked out. Some may even be businesses that I really like and regularly support. What you won't see: a messy blog with intrusive non-contextual ads.

FORMAT

I used to joke about my big fat Cuban ass, but now I have to find a way of managing all this big fat content in a way that makes sense to readers. Eventually, I'll be moving over to Wordpress only because I need a more flexible content management system to separate out different sections of the blog. Don't worry though, I'll continue publishing here until the move is final.

THANK YOU

I want to thank everyone who has been reading this blog from the get-go and those who have joined along the way! It's still business as usual around here, but because the blog is growing along with me, I need to adapt and expand.

It was always my dream to have my own publication. Guess what? I sort of got there, without even realizing I was doing it! I have always said that a blog is not a blog but whatever you make of it. This is what it is for me and I encourage everyone to explore the world of online publishing.