Culminating Activity

Manola rarely goes to the mainland, but here's news from the peninsula worthy of being broadcast on Sex and the Beach:

So I was talking to my niece yesterday.

She works with learning-disabled students at Westlab Elementary, a highly-coveted elementary school in hoity-toity Coral Gables. Well, apparently, you can't have a little Valentine's day "party" for your wee tots. No, the word "party" is offensive to some cultures that apparently don't ever "party." (Call me crazy, but culturally speaking, is there not one culture that doesn't celebrate SOMETHING?)

So instead of having a Valentine's Day party, these children had a Valentine's Day Culminating Activity.

Can you imagine that?

CULMINATING ACTIVITY WITH CUPCAKES AND APPLE JUICE

So from now on my friends, so as to not offend anyone, you can say something like "You are invited to my Birthday Culminating Activity."

I don't know about you, but the words CULMINATING ACTIVITY are suggestive of things children should not know about.

I kid you not.

Send me the spaceship. I want to leave planet ridiculous.