Manola News, Miami Beach, August 2, 2006 -- Manola Blablablanik was pressing down a grilled cheese sandwich with a spatula when a clean-shaven Colin Farrell appeared on the bread!
"It was a spiritual experience," declared the popular blogger. "I mean I hadn't even been thinking about his penis for like, the last ten minutes, and then I swear, he spoke to me with those wistful Irish eyes: 'Manola, my flesh is not worthy!'"
Dr. Annie Steelclit, Manola's therapist, agrees that it's time for Manola to move on and reintroduce dick into her life. "She has recovered quite well from Mr. Thinks He's Huge," the doctor affirms. "Her previous Rorschach test results spoke volumes about her denial and fear of real honest to goodness wanker. Every single ink blot had to do with Colin Farrell's penis. But lately, she just says 'ink blot' followed by a yawn."
The eminent psychologist is proud of Manola's progress. "An obsession with Colin Farrell's penis, while initially healthy, has now become as old as the Ten Commandments. Besides, now that Miami Vice has hit the big screen, Mr. Farrell is already so yesterday. Even Manola knows that there's no point to spanking a dead monkey."
In a tear-jerking confession, Manola relinquishes Colin Farrell for good.
But not one to waste a good holy apparition, Manola is auctioning off the grilled cheese sandwich on Ebay! All proceeds will benefit the Manola Blablablanik Center for Recovery from Relationships with Real and Imaginary Pricks. Bid now!
7 comments:
Too bad it wasn't a hot dog. I'd be able to hear the moaning from here...
I must say, quite amusing!
Penis and grilled cheese in the same paragraph? M, only you could make that work.
I thought about you when I briefly had an opportunity to meet Mr. Farrell and interview him about MV. It's usually me plus one at such junkets and considering your "adoration" of the man I would have gladly given you the guest spot. But alas, his "people" backed out of press at the last minute at the event I was to have spoken w/him.
I wasted hours yesterday trying to win an auction for some antique mixing bowl set on ebay when all along I could have been bidding on the grilled cheese instead.
Mighty -- would that be hot dog in the bun?
Gadzilla -- thanks for stopping by! Come back soon!
James -- that would've been excellent! I'll have to find another star to adore!
WLSW -- what, not bidding on Prada? (Actually one can get great deals on Ebay!
You are a goddess. I cower in the shadow of Farell's member.
LLCoolbabe: yee haw! Welcome to the wild world of blogging!
Wilder: Thanks for stopping by! Yes, it is a tremendous shadow. Good substitute for beach umbrella! :-)
Jonathan: Cheddar, meunster, gouda, mozzarella ... I love me some cheese!
Post a Comment