Antonio Bandeja Crashes Chevy Pizza Crawl!

Hey everybody! Meet my new boyfriend, Antonio Bandeja. I met him on eHarmony, because as you can see, it's painfully obvious he's scientifically proven to be the perfect fit for me! Antonio smells a bit pungent and tends to sweat; however, he's rock solid loyal. What's more, he doesn't talk and isn't medicated -- what two great qualities in a man! Ladies, I dare you to resist the seductive gaze and beaming smile of Antonio!

Yesterday, Antonio made his public debut at Chevy Pizza Crawl 3 in Miami-Dade, where we hung out with 2o other lucky bastards who got to drive Chevrolets and gorge on pizza all day long. After meeting at Tropical Chevrolet in Miami Shores, we stopped at Andiamo (Biscayne Corridor) Pizza Volante (Design District), Fratelli La Bufala (South Beach), The Big Cheese (South Miami) and Spris (Coral Gables).

Antonio loved the pizza at Andiamo, though he wasn't too happy to see where some of his cousins ended up.

Our favorite pizza was at Andiamo because it was the most flavorful with big chunks of sweet, delicious roasted tomato and fragrant, fresh basil. The goat cheese and portobella mushroom pizza with caramelized onions burst with perfectly blended flavors and made our tongues sing.

Pizza Volante didn't live up to its usual quality and the antipasti platter, while overflowing with prosciutto, olives, marinated artichokes, cherry tomatoes and mozzarella over crisp romaine, could've used some dressing.

Fratelli's signature dough was a bit too chewy (it's supposed to be that way), but the melt-in-your-mouth buffalo mozzarella was divine, especially on the Genuina pie. Platters of gorgeous seasonal vegetables on a deli counter window made us want to come back and sample more of Fratelli's menu. The staff aint bad to look at, either.

Two hot Italians at Fratelli La Bufala. Ladies, which one would you choose? The one on the left is evidently well hung, but the one on the right can cook.

We were too stuffed to even try Big Cheese, but managed to sample a few pieces of pie at Spris, which came in as our second favorite for its simple flavor and thin crust. That's saying a lot after a long day that ended with jaded palettes saturated with cheese, cured meats and dough.

It's just amazing how different pizza can taste from one place to another, which just goes to show what we've always known about men: no two salamis are ever the same.

I was so busy making out with Antonio in the back seat of the roomy Chevy SUVs, that I almost forgot to drive! The Chevy Traverse has personal TV screens for backseat passengers, which Antonio loved because he could watch some salami porn.

Luckily, I managed to get behind the steering wheel of the Malibu with Antonio next to me in the cup holder. I gave some folks the scenic tour through Coral Gables, passing by the Biltmore Hotel and Venetian pool. The ride was extremely smooth and comfortable -- which we all needed after popping a button or two on the way to our last stop at Spris.

Antonio so charmed everyone at the pizza crawl, even the guys couldn't resist giving him head! He also won the award for funniest tweet.

Silicone Bitch: Everyday Tech

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

In this edition, we take a look at who's using technology and social media in South Florida in cool, new and practical ways.

MIAMI TOUR COMPANY GOES HIGH-TECH

Miami Tour Company has jacked up its GPS-guided buses with new audio and video capabilities. Digital sound has replaced an FM signal, with individual headphones for tour guests broadcasting in English, Spanish, French, German and Italian.

In addition, a video camera on the front of the bus projects the driver's view to four small screens in the middle and back of the vehicle and two large screens on the front.

The idea is genius because it gives tour guests the opportunity to see more of Miami from the "front seat," especially on such beautiful routes as Bayshore Drive, Ingraham Highway, Old Cutler Road and the tree-lined paths of Coral Gables.

I recently interviewed Gus Moore, company owner, about the technological improvements.



APPELATION iPHONE

The Forge recently re-opened with revamped decor and menu led by Executive Chef Dewey LoSasso, but it's the new elegant Wine Bar that grabs our attention here because it serves up an exclusive iPhone app: The Forge Wine Web App.

While the application will never replace a face-to-face conversation with a sommelier, it's a quick and easy guide to a collection of 64 wines available through a self-serve Enomatic Wine System. You can purchase 1, 3 or 5 ounce pours with a special card available at the bar.

Search wines by region, vintage, varietals or by category ranging from "mild" to "powerful" and find pricing, description, tasting notes, pairing suggestions as well as a regional map for each wine. If you're a newbie enophile, the application is helpful in identifying what might please your palette. Register for the app and add favorite wines to your own "cellar" and leave comments about individual tastings.

The app is currently not available at the Apple Store but you can download it by visiting http://theforgewine.com/ on your iPhone browser.

Don't have an iPhone? No worries. There are iPhones attached to several of the wine bins so that everyone can browse the app.

A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

Imaneed, founded by local geek Matt Lally, offers a useful neighbor-to-neighbor network when you need help locating a product or service. It's very simple to use: send a text to 954-876-4128 and Imaneed will help connect you with whoever can fulfill your request. Imaneed is anonymous so there is no need to worry about your phone number getting into the wrong hands. Think of this as full concierge service -- everything from concert tickets to help with changing a flat tire -- with locals and businesses coming to the rescue.

The free service is currently available only in South Florida, from Boca to Miami, but will eventually go nationwide.

Willie Morris, Web and Operations Director, was recently interviewed on NBC 6 about Imaneed.

MAZELTOV!

Kudos go out to Temple Judea in Coral Gables, one of South Florida's largest reform synagogues, because they're using social media and technology to reach out to members. Rabbi Edwin Goldberg does podcasts of his sermons and has put together Youtube videos to promote events and fund raisers. Bar and Bat mitzvah students use Skype to practice their presentations with their mentors and tutors. Rabbi Goldberg is also working on an iPhone app for the temple.

There are two rabbis at Temple Judea and both of them blog: Rabbi Goldberg and Rabbi Judith Segal. Some religious services are also available via live web streaming. Visit Temple Judea online for more information.

South Florida's Wildest Bachelor Celebrates Sixtieth Birthday

I recently paid a visit to Lion Country Safari, courtesy of Dunkin Donuts, to meet a very special guy ...


Lancelot, named after the princely seducer of the Arthurian legend, turns 60 on June 26th. The hard-shelled tortoise weighs in at a whopping 750 pounds, but that doesn't stop him from having three girlfriends for a good romp every now and then when he's in the mood and conditions are just right -- just like in a Cialis commercial!

Lancelot has had little luck in making baby tortoises but he still has a few good years ahead of him to do the wild thing. He and an old flame once fertilized some eggs, but they were stolen by raccoons.

Nonetheless, life is good for Lancelot. He's just like Hugh Hefner, an old fart who lives with three babes and still gets laid. Don't laugh! Tortoise sex is serious business!



Not only does Lancelot have "three solid girlfriends," he has a private shed where he keeps cool when it gets too hot. He's cold-blooded, you see, not because he's an insensitive jerk but because his body temperature is the same as the outside. And even though he has a hard shell around him, he's pretty approachable and always listens.

Lancelot eats produce, hay and gets the occasional banana treat, which he loves. Oh and he also loves to have his long, leathery neck rubbed! He can stick that thing out quite far before it retreats and all this without even taking a cold shower!

Lancelot may be a little slow and his swagger may be hardly that of a hare, but remember ladies, it's the long-lasting studs like him that always capture our hearts!

Lion Country Safari wildlife director Terry Wolf has more to say about Lancelot in the video below:



If you think Lion Country Safari is just fun for kids, think twice! Read more about the preserve by yours truly at Miami Beach 411. And check out another post about Lancelot over at Jewel's Fab Life.

MORE TORTOISE AND DONUT FUN

Lancelot celebrates his birthday on June 26th at Lion Country Safari. This year is also Dunkin Donuts' 60th anniversary of being in business, so Lancelot will get a special donut at 11 am. Following the celebration, Dunkin Donuts will provide donut decorating for kids beginning at noon (while supplies last).

Between now and June 30, pick up coupons in participating Dunkin Donuts around Palm Beach, Martin, St. Lucie and Indian River counties to receive six free donuts with the purchase of six donuts at the regular half-dozen price. Dunkin Donuts will have coupons in-store for $6 off each person in a vehicle at Lion Country Safari. For more information follow @ddsofla on Twitter.

Sex and the Miracle Manicure

All dressed up and somewhere to go ... in a hot ride! "Movie and a Makeover" event at Rik Rak Salon.

I didn't want to post about Sex and the City 2 when it first came out because I hate spoilers. But now that some time has passed, here's review, which is shorter than a Manolo Blahnik stiletto:

In this screwball flick, a bunch of whiny women with first world problems go to the desert and get into all kinds of goofy trouble.

Yep, that's it! Hey, don't get me wrong -- I'm a big fan of the show, though contrary to what many may think, I didn't start watching it until the final episode! If you love Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, you'll love keeping up with them, but the movie lacks the depth so many of us loved about the TV series. And to be honest, I missed the main character, New York City. I'd love the screenwriters of The Hangover to take a stab at a Sex and the City movie -- you can have your adventure and make a really good movie, too.

The best part of Sex and the City 2 for me was an event hosted by fabulous Rik Rak Salon in Brickell, with Midtown Chica at the helm bringing together a bunch of great chic bloggers. I got to hang out with Midtown Chica, Jewel's Fab Life and Go Live Miami, and also meet some other sexy and sassy gals on the local web scene: Accidental Sexiness, Jennifer Santiago of Plum TV, Mitch's Daily Dish, Your Not So Desperate Housewife, Miami Beats and Sazon, Strictly Miami Blog and Annie Vazquez from NBC Miami.

After Rik Rak pampered us with manicures and blow outs -- you know I want to say "blow jobs" but Midtown Chica will spank me! -- Chevy chauffeured all of us dolled up up babes to Lincoln Road where we caught the premiere of the movie after being nearly trampled by the sea of estrogen waiting in line at the cinema. And as if that wasn't Liza-Minnelli-fabulous enough, my buddy and Miami Beach condo king Kevin Tomlinson awaited me with a big tub of popcorn and even bigger smile. Our wise-cracks had Midtown Chica in stitches.

While my memories of the film quickly faded, my manicure from Rik Rak lasted a whole week. This was nothing short of a miracle as my relationship with nail polish is like a one night stand that ends before midnight -- poof! it just never lasts.

(I can't prove it, but maybe there's kryptonite in the top coat.)

Rik Rak Salon is family-owned and run, boasts an upscale boutique and has a great café on the premises that serves wine. I go there now for lunch sometimes -- try their whole wheat penne with pesto, sun-dried tomatoes, spinach and grilled chicken for $10. Seriously, it's probably one of the best lunch deals in the area and besides, Latin Burger stops in every now and then.

If you go to Rik Rak Salon, check out the artwork in the lobby. It's from the Taplin collection (the Taplins of Sagamore Hotel fame). There is an amazing larger-than-life painting to your left on the way to the restrooms.

Photo credit: Midtown Chica

Turning An Irish Stud Into A Cubanaso

Daithi O Se after downing some Cuban coffee rocket fuel at Calle Ocho's Exquisito Restaurant.

What does a redheaded Cuban-American, an Irish film crew and one hot TV celebrity make on a sweltering day in Little Havana? No, it's not some kind of Celtic porn with pork and potatoes, it's a segment for an upcoming series on Ireland's TG4 network!

Route 1 will air in Ireland this October, with celebrity host Daithi O Se leading a travel show about driving all the way from Maine to Key West on U.S. 1. Production company Dearg Films made up the crew.

How the heck did I get involved in this? Well, Ciaran Gallagher, co-producer, sent me a very funny email last April. It started like this: "I hope you don't mind this cheeky unsolicited email, but I was hoping I could pick your brain about all things Miami." Ciaran found me via this blog and the work I do at Miami Beach 411.

Fast forward to yesterday, when I found myself meeting a crew of four self-proclaimed "Irish pasty guys" and one hot papi chulo from the Emerald Isle for a four-hour shoot in Little Havana. With the mic firmly adjusted to my bra -- having the sound guy poke around under my dress was the most action I've gotten in weeks -- Daithi and I improvised in front of the camera.

Yours truly and the host. His t-shirt pays tribute to Tony Montana of Scarface. It says "say hello to my little friend" in Gaelic.

The goal here was to give the Irish audience a quirky and entertaining look at Little Havana: "drop their talk about the potato crop and make them spill their Guinness in astonishment," as hilarious Ciaran put it in his original cheeky email. So in the weeks prior to the shoot, I contacted a few businesses and came up with a loose schedule.

Here's what we did, focusing mainly on the heart of Little Havana between 16th and 11th avenue:

1. Stopped at Maximo Gomez Park (Domino Park), where we talked about the importance of the park as a community hub and noted the signs that say "no cursing, no sweat shirts, no flip flops and no guns," among other rules.

2. Filmed in front of the Tower Theater, where I explained its architectural and cultural importance.

3. Had Daithi sample a colada, a cortadito and a pastelito de guayaba (coffee and guava pastry) at El Exquisito, my favorite family-owned Cuban restaurant. I discussed the ventanita (little storefront window where coffee is served) as the space for political talk and local gossip.

4. Smoked cigars at Cuba Tobacco Cigar Company, a family-owned business that started on the island circa 1896 and has been making cigars in Miami for over 40 years. Unfortunately -- or perhaps fortunately -- I had to squeeze in a Monica Lewinksy joke.

5. Filmed at the Bay of Pigs Memorial on 11th Avenue, where I fielded some hardcore questions about Cuba and the exile experience.

Cuban coffee, pastries and a cigar ... what's not to love? The only thing we didn't try was a mojito.

I'm not sure if I turned Daithi -- voted Ireland's sexiest TV man -- into a real Cubanaso, but he did tell me he learned a lot during the experience. And if any of my Cubanita vibes rubbed off on him, I'm sure he's all the more sexier for it.

For the Florida segment, not only did Route 1 hang out with yours truly, they also visited with the Dolphins Cheerleaders (blah!) but made up for that with an exclusive interview of Burt Reynolds in Jupiter and the State Attorney of the Conch Republic in Key West.

Setting up on location in Little Havana.

This isn't the first time Daithi and the friendly crew worked together. Previously, they shot two similar series, one covering Route 66 and the other Highway 61. They also made a documentary about country music legends.

Route 1 will air in October on Irish TV, some of which is broadcast in Gaelic. I've been promised access to clips so stay tuned! There are few more photos on Flickr.

THANK YOU ...

Thanks to Ciaran, the Dearg Films crew and Daithi for a morning well spent! Come back to Miami soon!

Thanks to Lourdes of Vice Beauty Blog for an amazing makeup job. I managed to look fresh and glowing in spite of the humidity. It's sheer skill, and not a miracle, that kept my face from melting.

Thanks to blog sponsor D & L Studio for a fabulous job on refreshing my hair color. (I've been a redhead for over half a year now and my hair never looked or felt better.)

Thanks to El Exquisito Restaurant and Cuba Tobacco Cigar Company for graciously letting us film on the premises.

And last but not least, thanks to historian Dr. Paul George for teaching me so much about our beloved city and for being such an inspiring mentor. (Coincidentally, I just happened to bump into Dr. G right before the shoot; he had been giving a tour of Little Havana to a private group.)

Don't forget! Dr. G gives a FREE tour of Little Havana every last Friday of the month during Viernes Culturales: Touring Little Havana with Dr. Paul George.

World Cup Quiz: How Many Soccer Balls In This Photo?

HATE THE GAME! LOVE THE PLAYER!

Republished here from the last World Cup, because we really don't give a shit about soccer, but we love eye candy.

BREAKING NEWS! Looming Penis Threatening Miami Women!

Sexy Miami bitches beware! Attack of the Big Penis coming soon to a luxury condo near you.

I know this news is so last week, but I how could I resist? I used to write for Miami Living, a luxury style magazine, and I'm so glad that they continue to epitomize all that is classy and sophisticated about the Magic City. Just take a look at the ad (shown above) that they approved for Miami's #1 dating site gold digger meets sugar daddy service Establishedmen.com!

Apparently, the editor-in-chief did not notice the ad before sending the issue to print. There's even some question about whether the editor-in-chief lives in Miami, which is duh! so obvious something is not quite 305 right. What true Miamian would miss this oh-so-subliminal message of two greedy ho-bags about to suck on a looming schlong? Come on!

See Miami Living Magazine? SEE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN MISSING? Obviously you haven't seen peen in a long time!

By the way, I want to know which stupid-ass rich mother fucker is so desperate he's willing to fork out money for a pretty pussy. Because you know, I have plenty of girlfriends who could certainly use "successful and generous benefactors to fulfill their lifestyle needs."

Oh wait, that would never work ... none of my girlfriends would suck cock for a wad of cash.

More at Miami New Times and Huffington Post. For more fabulous cock shadow fun, visit The Cockshadow Blog, "the number one site on the internet for all your cock shadow needs."

Silicone Bitch: Hot New Geek Ventures FTW!

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

SXSE IS OVER BUT THE TWITTER LOVE LIVES ON

If you thought Twitter was just about "what I had for breakfast" or "what the cat did this morning," think again. SxSe turned out to be an even bigger tweetup than I ever imagined it would be. Many folks connected and re-connected at this four-day event. Photos, videos and stories are trickling in: SxSe Follow-Up Posts. Next year, we're planning for Key West, so stay tuned.

THEY DON'T JUST WRITE CODE

My buddy Craig Agranoff -- former tech blogger at Broward New Times, multitalented geek and pizza king -- has joined other contributors posting for the Palm Beach Post's Tech Tonic column.

THE BOYS OF SUMMER

A dashing and daring trio -- Jose Boza, Toby Srebnik, Jarret Streiner -- have started a new venture called Pitch to the Rhino, "where sports and social media collide." The site features stories divided into several sport categories, as well as weekly recaps on what teams and athletes are up to in social media.

SHOP SMART

I love it when geeks do stuff that's practical and if it helps us with shopping, what's not to love? Zavee, based out of Boca Raton, launched in January 2010 in West Palm Beach and Broward.

Zavee is not an online shopping site but rather a social network where local businesses can connect with shoppers. All the shopping takes place in physical stores and involves cash back rewards. There's also a donations program for local charities. Zavee intends to expand to other counties in Florida and beyond.

Ron Stack, COO, wraps it up in a statement: "We started Zavee because we wanted to bring social shopping to local communities. The sharing of information and experiences helps shoppers make smarter purchase decisions, in part by introducing them to new opportunities. This makes social shopping a natural fit for communities whose local merchants can't reach large numbers of consumers directly but can connect with them via the network. Zavee makes social shopping even more community-focused with our cash back rewards program, which helps offset the price advantage of large chains and big box stores."

I really hope Zavee comes to South Miami soon. We have wonderful mom and pop merchants here.

JUNE MEETUPS

Hurricane season has started and boy, summer is definitely here. We'd love to talk to summer in hopes she'd give us a break, as it's too hot and humid to even think! Nevertheless, geeks and social media lovers are still going at it with presentations and discussions.

• Social Media Club South Florida discusses "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Facebook" on June 8. (Ironically, at the time of this post, event information is only available on Facebook.)
• Refresh Fort Lauderdale has moved its monthly meetup to June 10.
• Refresh Miami hits Coconut Grove on June 16.

As always, you can learn more about additional meetups at Orange Events Calendar.

Photo credit: Giorgio Montersino's Flickr.