Lunch? What Lunch? An Afternoon with South Florida Firefighters

A helmet full of cash, all for a good cause. This handsome gent was in the over 40 category.

Because I'm one of the luckiest bloggers in the world, I had a chance to attend the 15th Annual Secretary's Day Luncheon, a charity event to benefit the South Florida Firefighters Calendar, which as we already know, supports a variety of great local causes. The purpose of this event was not only to raise funds, but to allow a bunch of horny gals to vote for next year's calendar beefcakes.

I have never seen so many plates of banquet chicken left cold on the table for the real meat that was up on the runway. To say that Stayfree pantyliners should've sponsored this event is an understatement. I didn't check, but I'm sure that eau de wide-on was flowing as much as the wine from the cash bar.

Shrieks of joy were heard. Smiles of ecstasy filled the room. Adonises danced on stage. It could've been a Greek play set to Reggaeton, except dollar bills were whipped out and then it reminded me of a couple of bachelorette parties I've attended at La Bare -- except that here they didn't take their pants off and they didn't exactly stick their crotches in your face. But it didn't matter. Women are sensual creatures; sometimes we want things left to the imagination. Sometimes junk in the bunker gear is a good thing and this was enough for lunchtime titillation.

These guys could move. The one I interviewed (see below) was humble about it, but trust me when I tell you, they put on quite a show.




And by the way, don't forget, they do actually save lives. I nabbed this Search and Rescue pro just before the runway show started.




IF YOU COME

Ehem ... ladies, if you go to any charity event next year, this is the best bang for you buck, literally. You get to mingle with the guys -- fully clothed -- until the show starts and then you get plenty of one-on-one shirtless photo opportunities after the voting. Jade Alexander, Mistress of Ceremonies, is a riot and her routine alone is worth the price of admission. You don't have to be a secretary to enjoy this! Individual tickets are about $60 but you can put a group together and get a table. Each guest gets a copy of the calendar plus a bag full of quality goodies. The cheapest tables still have great views and you can always walk up to the runway. Don't forget to bring dollar bills!

And remember, it's not just about pecs, six packs and hot dance moves, it's about the charities -- Here's Help and a Safe Haven for Newborns -- as well as Friends Forever Rescue.

WHAT'S NEXT

Media isn't allowed to reveal the winners, so I'll have to keep mum. Stay tuned for the grand announcement this August. You can bet your squirting fire hose I'll be there.

Silicone Bitch: Fast Cars, Slow Drinks and Good Learnin'

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

A great audience showed up to learn about blogging. At GAB Studio, a creative gallery and photographer's space in Wynwood run by Bridges Aderhold.

LITTLE RED CORVETTE

Chevy has been following the Ford bandwagon making some in roads with tri-county social media types. (Terrible puns, I know ...) In February, they hosted a bunch of bloggers and tweeters at Lion Country Safari. I drove an Equinox through the West Palm Beach park with some friends and almost got rammed by a rhino. Not saying more for now because I've got a proper travel story coming up at Miami Beach 411. I really enjoyed the visit though; I saw more flesh, hide and rumps in two hours than your average night in South Beach!

And I thoroughly enjoyed the test drive of a Corvette -- revving from zero to 45 in a cupla seconds made this girl's pedal foot happy. Thank goodness it was a backroad with no FHP in sight; had that Corvette been a stick shift, I would've been in horsepower heaven.

But that's not all! Craig Agranoff, friend and pizza meister, is doing Chevy pizza crawls. This means you get to test drive a car and stuff your face with pie for a few hours, all in good company. Here's a wrap up of the first one. Follow @lapp to keep up with the next two coming up in Broward and Miami-Dade.

LIVING THE DRAM

Macallan was in town last month, hosting private scotch tastings at an event space in Allapatah called eVenue. Yes, Allapatah. Can you believe there's a groovy facility -- complete with an ice bar ... yes, an ice bar in the subtropics! -- in that most savory of Miami neighborhoods?

But back to the scotch -- Graeme Russell, brand ambassador for Macallan, gave us a master class on the origins, production and culture of the drink. We sampled different kinds from the 12 year to the 18; it's amazing how differently each one tastes, heady in a good way. As a scotch virgin, the little sips were welcome to the palette. It's not just the beverage that was delicious but also the history around it that was utterly fascinating. When you know what goes into it, it tastes so much better. The same could be said of lasting love, of course ...

If you like scotch, definitely follow bon vivant and scotchpert Graeme @livingthedram.

EDUMACATION

The last few weeks have been amazing for me in terms of outreach. I guest spoke at a undergraduate Public Relations course (taught by @angiemoncada) on how to pitch to bloggers, followed by other presentations at University of Miami (@alexdc's class) with fabulous designer @alishavera and great writers @yvetteferry @mkhall. I wish I could've recorded Kevin's spiel on the origins of blogging. It was brilliant. He's the master wordsmith over at Hidden City.

There was also a Business Wire event in Fort Lauderdale where I had the pleasure of sitting on a panel with @nialahboodhoo from the Miami Herald, @mindingyourbiz from the Sun Sentinel and @margieschneider from Ten Golden Rules.

As if this wasn't enough, I spoke solo at an artist's networker hosted by Life is Art and the Association of Women In Communications South Florida about how to use blogging to promote your work. There were about fifty people in the audience and it was incredibly inspiring as we had a very engaging 30 minute question and answer session on everything from developing content to SEO. Wordpress king @johnjamesjacoby was in the da house, able to give some technical advice, which I appreciated.

I'm going to be putting together some blogging and writing workshops in the future, so stay tuned. I've never doubted the power of this medium and it is only strengthened now by all the eyes looking back at me for guidance. Stepping back into the role of teacher feels really good. The timing is right.

WOMEN'S CONFERENCE

The blog talk wasn't the only recently inspiring moment. The Health, Wealth and Entrepreneurship Women's Conference in March brought together professional women from all walks of life for a day of educational panels at the Ana G. Mendez University campus in Miramar. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing it was to hear stories of women who started with nothing and built successful careers through perseverance, sass and smarts. Women like Dr. Elizabeth King, who overcame many health obstacles and now runs a holistic center in Fort Lauderdale, Maria Cristina Caballero of Dialogue on Diversity, Emmy-award winning Patricia San Pedro, publisher of Miami Bombshells, Ana Recio Harvey, director of the Office of Women's Business Ownership of the U.S. Small Business Administration ... the list is long. Ladies, this conference is happening again next year and is a MUST.

Also, I had no idea this university existed in South Florida. It's a bilingual school that supports working professionals who want to complete degrees or advance in their careers. There were several organizers but kudos to @mariaalexandra for helping put it together.

There has been much more going on but I'm going to have to write several posts to catch up! Feel free to pitch me with story ideas. And don't forget to check out @agustinap's Orange Events calendar.

Endings Are Beginnings

A curious thing happened on the way to the rest of my life. I fell in love. I opened my heart, my soul and my body. I felt the pleasure of closeness again and experienced the one thing a woman wants most: trust. Trust in love, in the continuation of that love -- actually a better word for that might be faith -- faith to see through all the messy moments that unbind us from our heart connections.

And that I had, trust and faith, showered with it like a gift from heaven, that and so much more, for El Hombre was a beautiful, loving, kind, generous, devoted and adoring man. And because I was finally able to open myself to love, I felt a simple joy I hadn't known -- even just opening my eyes in the morning, knowing we two existed.

Until the binding, the faith, something fell apart somehow. Those messy moments -- miscommunications, misunderstandings. Two perfect hearts. Two imperfect circumstances.

Heart strings snapped. He let go and now I'm untethered from a bond I so deeply desired and cherished.

But in spite of it all, I can only be grateful for what we shared. He gave me the gift of love and of loving.

After this experience, I'm never going to give up on love. Though I cannot yet imagine ever loving anyone else, the rest of my life is now.

Guest Post: Retweeting to Get Laid

This guest post is written by Craig Agranoff of Worstpizza.com. Yes, the power of the pussy can be used for fame, but what does it matter if you have a million followers? How can you possibly be a real person who engages? You're not a person -- you're a brand that exploits sex appeal. Craig is right about "sex sells," but I wouldn't discourage anyone, hot or not, from using Twitter the down-to-earth human way. Let's debate in comments.

No, this isn't one of those lame "how to" articles you see by these self-proclaimed Twitter Pimps who will supposedly show you how to get laid in 140 or less. We all know that's a load of crap.

Nope, what I'm talking about are these lame monkeys who re-tweet every tweet posted by anyone with a profile pic that looks even remotely hot. Somehow, these dweebs think that by showing RT love to these hotties, they're somehow going to get some. It's an odd male urge, I guess, to be noticed by chicks we'd never have the remotest chance with and to dream about women who'll never even know we exist.

Welcome to the mind of man.

Anyway, what this makes me think about is marketing. No, it's not that big of a leap, since most of marketing is sex. We all want to own sexy cars, wear sexy clothes, have sexy bods, get it on with sexy people, and do things that will otherwise enhance our sexual powers. There's a reason Viagra is the best-selling drug of all time.

What is plainly obvious is that sex doesn't just sell, but it gives you a huge leg up if you're self-marketing. Go to YouTube, flip to any television news station, or look at who's got the most followers on Twitter, friends on Facebook, etc. It's all hot people. Hot girls, especially, dominate video realms (YouTube, TV) while both hot men and women are all over the rest.

So if you're trying to self-market and you aren't hot, find a new line of work -- you're shit out of luck.

News: April 2, 2010 Edition

Content is going to get better here at Sex and the Beach. In the future, I'll be featuring some guest posts by great writers.

Also, as I'm currently not writing my Silicon Beach column for Miami New Times, I'll be discussing the local social media scene here with a little bit of tech.

It's basically all the stuff I do and love, true to my header: "plus stuff that's more interesting than sex!"

I'm debating on whether to port this blog over to Wordpress. But honestly, if it aint broke, why fix it? I'm still on old blogger and don't feel a need to change anything as content is king around here. Bloggers, any thoughts?

PRESENTATIONS


On April 14, I will be collaborating with Life is Art and the Association for Women in Communications of South Florida for a networker during which I'll hold an informal talk about blogging. Visit Life is Art for more details.

You can learn more about my talks and presentations, as well as classes, over at Wily Wordsmith. Sometime later this year, following on the success of the Hands on Small Business courses I taught last year, I will be holding seminars on writing and blogging, so stay tuned.

BLOGGER MEETUP

If you're interested in exploring ways of monetizing your blog via e-commerce, come to Monty's South Beach on April 16 to meet Ted Rubin of Open Sky. First two drinks on Ted's tab! This is an informal get together for local bloggers, so please stop by to network and catch up. Visit the tweetvite for more details: Let's Talk Shop About Blogs.

TWEETUPS


We're doing it again! SxSe (South By South East) is happening in May this year at the Hyatt Pier 66 in Fort Lauderdale. Because Miami Beach wasn't shallow enough ... or too shallow! Everyone is welcome to the tweetup on Saturday, May 22, which will be held at beautiful Pelican Landing right on the intracoastal. There is also a special rate on rooms. Visit SxSe for more information.

BLOGS

Go check out my friend and fabulous fellow writer, Lourdes G. at IvoryGreen. She's also starting a new beauty blog with a focus on South Florida.

Sweet Home Hialeah is not new, but boy does it give me some chuckles.

NEW BOOK

Unlike my last failed attempt to write a book about the history of Harley Davidson in Cuba, this year I've got plans to write something that should present no problems. It's going to be something like "Manola's Guide to Cuban Miami For Gringos," probably a self-published book you can carry easily in a pocket. Andrew Nelson, National Geographic Traveler contributor, gave me the brilliant idea while we were having dinner during his twitter crowd-sourced trip to Miami. Go read his informative and beautifully written article: Tweet Me in Miami.

Poem: To The Daughter I Never Had

Your name was Alba
You laughed
And the earth erupted, sparkled, shined
Gold flecks dripped down from angels
That I did not even know existed
And clouds parted
Brazen blue skies, defiance of you
You scoffed at the lightening, my child
Like it was nothing, like it was
Fierce storms and you quivered just in jest
Because your blue-eyed gaze knew better
"That's my girl," I said, speaking to a mirage
But know this:
Daughter I never had and never was
You are always trying so hard
To be this thing called a grown up woman
But this story is not just about us, my dear
For every heart that knows
A dawn, a morning song like you,
Alba, you are the light
Even in the darkest moment before the sun rises
And in this place, I know you
Though I will never see your face