Monday, April 12, 2010

Endings Are Beginnings

A curious thing happened on the way to the rest of my life. I fell in love. I opened my heart, my soul and my body. I felt the pleasure of closeness again and experienced the one thing a woman wants most: trust. Trust in love, in the continuation of that love -- actually a better word for that might be faith -- faith to see through all the messy moments that unbind us from our heart connections.

And that I had, trust and faith, showered with it like a gift from heaven, that and so much more, for El Hombre was a beautiful, loving, kind, generous, devoted and adoring man. And because I was finally able to open myself to love, I felt a simple joy I hadn't known -- even just opening my eyes in the morning, knowing we two existed.

Until the binding, the faith, something fell apart somehow. Those messy moments -- miscommunications, misunderstandings. Two perfect hearts. Two imperfect circumstances.

Heart strings snapped. He let go and now I'm untethered from a bond I so deeply desired and cherished.

But in spite of it all, I can only be grateful for what we shared. He gave me the gift of love and of loving.

After this experience, I'm never going to give up on love. Though I cannot yet imagine ever loving anyone else, the rest of my life is now.


Anonymous said...


Angie Moncada said...

Beautiful and brave. Aching for you, and glad you decided to write this.

Unknown said...

Beautifully written.

Anonymous said...

Your heading still says "formerly." Are you hoping for a reconciliation?

Christina Tierney said...

So beautifully said. It's've experienced it. It's in the willingness to risk and be open to the possibilities that we open ourselves to hurt and ecstasy.

You're an inspiration...don't stop being so brave and open!

Stephanie Quilao said...

That is the challenge indeed, to keep our hearts open to love no matter the circumstance, and to remain faithful that love shall knock on our door and stay a lifetime.

You are a beautiful loving soul and no doubt have much love to give and receive :) Keep the faith girl!

chuco said...

It truely is addicting.
not just the love or the sex.
but the moments well kept.
It truely is addicting.
Not just the way your hands intertwine.
But the way two lives combine.
It truely is addicting.
The nausea begins
When memories settles in.
It truely is addicting.

Kinda new and stumbled across the site, but I like what I read.

Maria de los Angeles said...

Thanks to all for the heartwarming comments. You know I always encourage dialogue here or via email.

The timing is so interesting ... speaking of endings and beginnings, ironically, spring just started but it feels like the summer is here. The seasons do change.

Chuco - Thanks for sharing your poetry! Glad you are enjoying the blog.

Mr. Ridian said...

Love irreducible
nothing but now

only now
always now

ever now
Might we wash the dishes, now?