Sex and the Beach 5th Anniversary Bash

Sex and the Beach is celebrating its fifth anniversary and the damn good art of blogging at the Clevelander on October 17, starting at 4 PM. Come join Maria, friends and other bloggers for a laid-back sunset party with an ocean view in South Beach -- that crazy town where it all started. At 7:00 PM we'll announce the winner of the Sex and the Beach contest (ladies, have you submitted your video yet?).

Enjoy $5 Punanitinis (Stoli, triple sec and a splash of bitters shaken and served up with orange garnish) or any $5 Stoli mixer drink of your choice. Great Clevelander drinks, beer, wine and appetizers available at their already recession-friendly prices. R & B and Hip Hop spinned by Sunday's DJ. Dress casual!

We're working on some schwag and other goodies. Details to follow!

Please visit Sex and the Beach Party at Eventbrite for more details and to RSVP.

No ticket required but please RSVP so we have a headcount.

Travel: I Need A Trail of Breadcrumbs Back to Oahu

Sunset Beach, approaching the North Shore. Renting a car to get here is a must.

You knew it was coming: the inevitable comparison between Miami Beach and Hawaii. I wasn't your typical tourist as I was staying with locals in Kaneohe, which is about twenty minutes from Honolulu.

The first thing that comes to mind is what seemed like an immense respect for the earth, which stems from old Hawaiian beliefs that seem to still hold fast -- an innate sense about the interconnectedness of all things, including the land and the people who live on it. Even the motto on the royal Hawaiian coat of arms spells it out: Ua Mau ke Ea o ka ʻĀina i ka Pono roughly translates to "the life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness."

As seen from the Punchbowl lookout, Honolulu and Waikiki are dense urban areas. That's Diamond Head in the background.

Outside of popular Waikiki, which is crowded with high-rise hotels, condos and shopping malls, you'll see no tall buildings anywhere. Seriously! On mile after mile of the scenic Kamehameha Highway that leads to the world famous North Shore beaches where surfers congregate in the winter, you'll find nothing but mountains and ocean without a building or billboard in sight. Try doing that on A1A -- I drove yesterday from Boca to Fort Lauderdale and couldn't see the damn ocean once, my view blocked by miles of endless ugly condos and timeshares.

It took me a few days to realize how wonderfully underdeveloped everything was beyond Honolulu -- if you want to stay there, you're shit out of luck unless you find a B & B, vacation rental or book a room at fancy Turtle Bay Resort.

And the beaches were clean. Oh-my-god clean. I had to look for the occasional cigarette butt on sand and was hard pressed to find one. While it is a Hawaiian tradition to picnic in grand style with the whole family on the beach, sometimes even overnight, you won't see the garbage from such weekend-long feasts on the beach.

And that's perhaps why these beaches really are like paradise -- not just because they're postcard perfect, but because the humans who enjoy them don't leave their trash behind. Locals in Miami who trash the beach make our ocean side playground feel like a cesspool.

There is a certain grace and elegance about the landscape in Oahu that's hard to explain; after all, it's not like those areas beyond Honolulu are deserted. Some towns are quite urban even yet the beaches are unspoiled. Maybe it's the love of the land that I was sensing. Or maybe it was the beautiful, spiritual words like aloha and mahalo that were spinning their magic in the air as I dozed off in my brother's house, with no air conditioning and fresh tradewinds lulling me to sleep.

A random flower found on the deck at Coconut Island.

But enough about comparisons! Things are what they are. Here are some tidbits that you'll hopefully enjoy if you are blessed with the opportunity to visit.

1. Eat shrimp in the Kahuka area.
2. Visit Chinatown on a busy Sunday morning.
3. Take in the sweeping views at the Punchbowl Cemetery lookout (and honor the military service men and women, too).
4. Stop at Buzz's for a wickedly strong Mai Tai and calamari "steak" after strolling and bathing in Kailua Beach Park (the "steak" is unbelievably tender, served panko-coated and with beurre blanc and capers).
   
5. Visit the Makapu'u lookout and hike to the lighthouse for a breathtaking sunrise.
6. Have a picnic at Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden (pick up some Huli Huli chicken at the local Foodland at the Windward Shopping Center on the way).
7. Eat Vinha d'Alhos (roasted marinated pork chunks) for breakfast at Koa Pancake House.
8. Kayak in Kaneohe Bay and laugh your ass off every time you tip over.
9. Visit the 'Iolani Palace, Bishop Museum and Mission Houses in Honolulu.
10. Appreciate the Hawaiian language; it's so beautiful, melodic and rhythmic.
11. Enjoy words like aloha and mahalo ... the former means thank you and embodies gratitude (you'll hear it a lot, people are friendly) and the latter is used as a greeting; ha means "breath of life" and combined with alo it signified affection, love, compassion, peace and mercy.
12. Visit the Nu'uanu Pali lookout for great views and fresh air in the Ko'olau mountain range.
13. If you walk around Waikiki at night, try to catch performer Troy Fernandez on the sidewalk and maybe even see some spontaneous hula dancing.
    

And last but not least, the flights are long ... pick up Oahu Revealed by Andrew Doughty to read on the way there. You'll get great suggestions from locals who review restaurants, properties and activities anonymously.

It's a good thing I have family in Hawaii. I was so lucky to not have to do the hardcore touristy thing. I can't wait to go back! As my brother put it while we were driving to Honolulu through the mountains one morning: "I have to pinch myself sometimes. I can't believe this is my commute to work."

Travel: On a White Sandy Beach of Hawaii

I'm not even back a day and I already miss Oahu! As a beach culture, there is such a respect for nature there that puts Miami to shame. This classic song by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole is going to linger on my mind ... enjoy.



I saw you in my dreams
We were walking hand in hand
On a white, sandy beach of Hawaii
We were playing in the sun
We were having so much fun
on a white, sandy beach of Hawaii

The sound of the ocean
soothes my restless soul
The sound of the ocean
rocks me all night long

Travel: Kailua Beach Hunk

Ah, the water is so inviting, isn't it?

Sex and the Beach 5th Anniversary Contest!

Sex and the Beach will be celebrating its fifth anniversary next month. In five years, we've laughed, cried, we've broken bones, we've lost weight, we've gained weight, we've been in relationships and out of them, bla bla bla ... but most importantly, we've evolved and continue evolving.

We've touched upon different topics, from sex to food and everything in between, but one theme has remained consistent: how to be the best woman you can be even in this process of constant evolution and that's why the tag line "single woman's guide to chronic living" still remains true.

In honor of this, I want to celebrate in a BIG WAY -- not for me, but for YOU. All you women out there doing this "living" thing, being resilient, rolling with the tide and pulling through no matter what.

THE CONTEST

I'm partnering with my cherished friend Scott Branch from Ipanemic and my awesome blog sponsor D & L Hair Studio for a fun contest!

Most of you know Scott as the guy who takes steamy photos of hot chicks in a boudoir setting or the beach, but this contest isn't about sex or about soft porn. It's about putting your best face forward, bravely. It's about being sexy while being you. I don't care how big, fat, skinny, tall, short, white, black, whatever you are. Trust me when I tell you, Scott can even make a jaded South Beach 40 year-old look good. (See photo above, taken spontaneously at Monty's in South Beach a couple of years ago.)

Go ahead, own it. Be saucy and seize the opportunity. If you win, you'll also get a hair and makeup session with D & L Hair Studio, one of my blog sponsors, up to $300 value! Now how can you pass up on that?

There will be other beauty goodies too ... details to follow!

RULES

• You must have Twitter, Youtube and Facebook accounts.

• Submit a ONE MINUTE video, posted to your Youtube, telling us how you have evolved over the last five years and why you deserve a photo session with Scott as well as hair and makeup by D & L Hair Studio. We'll be looking for a woman who really lives up to the spirit of "chronic living" that inspires this blog. Humor a big plus. Tag the video SEXANDTHEBEACH.

• Contact beachbombshell AT gmail DOT com when you've posted a video. Include a link to the video, as well as your Twitter and Facebook accounts.

• "Like" Sex and the Beach and Ipanemic Facebook pages.

• Follow @vicequeenmaria and @ipanemic on Twitter (strongly encouraged) for updates and interaction. Talk to us!

• If you submit a video, you agree to let Scott and I broadcast it and contest-related material (such as photos of you, retweets and so on) on our social networks.
  

• You do not have to be local to participate, but obviously, you'll have to come to South Florida if you want the photo shoot and beauty session!

• This contest is *not* open for established or aspiring models, sorry.
  

• Must be 21 years of age or older. No age limit over 21!
  

• If you do participate, kindly tag Sex and the Beach and Ipanemic in any contest-related updates on your Facebook wall and use the hashtag #satb5 on Twitter.

DEADLINE
Sunday, October 10th, 2010

GRAND PRIZE
A photo session with Scott at a local location. Hair and makeup by D & L Hair Studio, up to a $300 value. This is not a simple wash and blow! You will consult with the studio and could opt for a color glaze and cut, for example. After the photo shoot, Scott will give you three high-resolution non-bookmarked images. You will arrange the photo shoot, determine the location and set up the beauty session with Scott and D & L Salon respectively, but I will be available to help coordinate, if necessary. You will have six months to take advantage of your prize.

RUNNER-UP PRIZE
Every woman who submits a video will get a little somethin' ... discounts on Scott's photo services as well coupons from D & L Hair Studio. Details to follow.

PRIZE ANNOUNCEMENT
The Grand Prize winner will receive notification by email and also be announced at the Sex and the Beach 5th Anniversary Bash sometime in mid-October, details to follow. You need not be present to win, but I hope to see you at the party!

That's it! Now go whip out that video camera and get crankin' ...

Travel: From Here Till I Have A Beachgasm

Sex and the Beach just had to stop at this spot yesterday! Halona Cove, located next to the Halona Blowhole where the ocean sprays up through an opening in the lava rock, is on the east side of Oahu. This was the location for the famous make out scene in the 1953 film From Here to Eternity, which won eight Oscars. Actors Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr kissed and rolled around in the surf; the scene seems tame and utterly classy by today's standards, but in the fifties it was risqué.

Regardless, this cove is so beautiful, who wouldn't want to have sex on it? Just make sure you don't get any sand up your various blowholes. And watch for the surf ... it can get rough!

Travel: Lady Gaga Has Nothing on Mother Nature

She's flamboyant, outrageous, and ornate; sometimes she's so garish it's impossible not to gawk at her. She's a diva and she's all about the dramatic display. She's a master in the arts of seduction, showing off her colors and shapes to attract sex.

Mother Nature must surely have been singing when she created the flora of tropical regions.

See Mother Nature put on her best act for free at the Ho'umaluhia Botanical Garden in Kaneohe, Oahu. More at Tripatini.

CALLING ALL BLOGGERS! Miami Lexus Safety Tour Stop

We all know how insane it is to drive in Miami. If you aren't frazzled after a commute on I-95 or the Palmetto, you don't have a pulse. Everyday, it's like taking your life in your hands, requiring more patience than the Buddha to avoid hating humanity.

But what about driving amid the chaos? If you're like me, safety features in a car aren't the kind of thing that daddy teaches his little girl. Heck, the best safety feature in my ideal car would be a handsome chauffeur. Does the term "traction control" make you think of an anti-frizz hair product? Is "VSC" dyslexic for CVS? What about working on those ABS -- the ones under your hood, not under your boobs?

Ladies (and possibly germs), it's time to demystify the world of car lingo and get road savvy.

Be part of the the Miami Lexus Safety Tour Stop. (Yes, Lexus hired me to reach out to you, get over it ... you loved the stuff I did with Ford Fiesta.) Apart from the "educational" stuff, this should be a fun event because you'll get behind the wheel with a professional race care driver (hopefully a sexy one!) on the track at Gulfstream. How often do you get to vent your Miami road rage like this? Learn to swerve, spin and stop in a safe environment and figure out all those driving techniques and tricks for the road.

We may not be able to make Miami a better driving city, but hey, at least you can master the wheel!

EVENT DETAILS

Friday, September 17 9:45 am - 12:00 pm
Gulfstream Racetrack
901 S. Federal Highway
Hallandale, Florida 33009
Lunch served on site

Yes, I know it's short notice. If interested, please email yours truly at beachbombshell AT gmail DOT com as soon as possible! THIS IS AN INVITE-ONLY event and is not open to the general public. You MUST rsvp in order to attend.

P.S. The only reason I'm not participating myself is because I'm in Hawaii ...

Travel: Saucy and Sensual Oahu Shrimp

You take the scenic seaside Kamehameha Highway to the Kahuku area, flanked by a flat, marshy terrain. You stop at Fumi's food truck and shack. You order locally farmed, live cooked fresh water shrimp served with garlic butter sauce. You peel. No, no, wait ... it's too good. You suck before you even peel. Then you peel a little more, but it's too damn good. You gotta slurp. Then you bite a little. Then you slurp some more. Then you roll it around on your tongue. Then you chew a little. Suck, bite, slurp and chew. Good lord at some point when your tongue has had enough you give in and finally swallow. But no, that's not enough. Then you lick your fingers and stick them in that glorious garlicky buttery mess some more, only to start the whole thing over again until the last shrimp is gone.

You bite your lip because you want to lick that plate. You want to drink that sauce in complete, unabashed shamelessness. You know you want to. But even though you're sitting under a tent, you mind your manners. And then you look over at your lover, wondering if you can kiss him just to get your lips on that last drop of it on his chin.

Yeah, it was so worth crossing the continent and half of the Pacific for this!

Follow me at Tripatini for more details: Oahu's Kahuka Shrimp Shacks: Cheap and Great Eats on the Road.

Travel: Aloha from Oahu

Two lovers enjoy the late afternoon in Kailua Beach, Oahu.

Sex and the Beach has come a long way in terms of beaches ... five years ago it was South Beach and now it's a bazillion miles away in the Pacific! I'll be traveling here for part of the month.

Yes, it's idyllic as it looks. Were these two inspired by the famous kiss scene in From Here to Eternity?

Destinations

One of my best friends from high school is dying in hospice. Although we didn't really stay in touch that much after high school, we reconnected on Facebook with mutual friends a couple of years ago. We met again in an impromptu reunion and she was ever the beautiful woman I imagined she'd grow up to be. The news of her illness came later. You would've never known this woman had a foot in death's door.

I think about her everyday, several times a day. I think about the pain she must be going through as well as the unfathomable sadness that her family must be experiencing with the imminent demise of someone so young. I try to wrap my mind around this -- that someone so beautiful, talented and the same as age as I is seeing this life shut down before her eyes every time she is conscious.

And next thing you know, my nephew and his wife have another baby and of course, she is as beautiful and adorable as any baby could be. A new life comes. A newish life goes. Our bodies wither but new bodies play.

It may seem trite to say, painfully obvious even, but there really is nothing but love to live for. And sometimes that love comes in the form of people who care about you who are not even blood related. We live in a world where family no longer has to do with traditional ties. Must I be out of love because I'm not in a relationship and I'm not a parent? Of course not. I am always already in love, even before I hook up with that man of my dreams. I live, eat and breathe love. Love is everywhere, within and without. Everything else is just a societal norm.

And while things are shaky, we are lucky -- because we are evolving -- and evolving means embracing all this pain and love in one space inside and expanding it beyond ways that were never heard of. That is the real technology. Tech of the heart.

This business about the word ending in 2012? That's bullshit. It's all about the beginning of a journey. Heck, the yogis talked about this five thousand years ago. They talked about how we are all connected and this was ancient knowledge long before telegraph, radio, television and internet.

Thoughts of my dying friend shall continue to haunt me, even after she passes. I find myself crying even though no amount of compassion can ease her plight. If that is what love is, if that is all that I can give, than so be it.

That is why I'm not surprised I should be so interested in travel writing again, because everything is travel; everything is a destination. While we all move forward, we are all going to that same place that is love, no matter where we land, where we set foot and where we tread.

Don't wait to travel to expand your heart. How far has your heart traveled today?