How I Lost 80 Pounds and Got Back in My Skinny Jeans

New Year's Resolutions have been on everyone's mind lately. Here's why I say screw the resolutions. Each day is a new day. Fourteen steps to health, happiness and beauty as well as a tribute to a beautiful friendship that inspired me.

Even skinnier jeans: I wasn't expecting to drop more sizes.

About ten years ago, I met my dear friend Stephanie Quilao online through the blogging community. At the time, both of us were embarking on our own self-publishing ventures. For me, it was here on Sex and the Beach and for her it was Back in Skinny Jeans, which has since evolved into other publishing ventures, including the blog Noshtopia, a book version of Back in Skinny Jeans, another book entitled Death of a Road Warrior, an app called Vibrantly, stunning food photography on Instagram and more.

Stephanie and I have never met in person, but we've shared the many ups and downs in each other's lives as true BFFs.

THE SKINNY ON WEIGHT LOSS

Stephanie Quilao

As we connected over the years, one of the most important things I learned from my friendship with Stephanie is that weight loss really isn't about numbers.

In Back in Skinny Jeans, Stephanie wrote about her weight loss journey with great candor; she focused on the emotional issues in her life that contributed to her weight gain. She was honest with her audience and continues to be so to this day, which is one of the things I love about her. We've both been through thick and thin -- pun intended.

As her blog Back in Skinny Jeans evolved, so did the idea of getting back to your core self -- weight not withstanding. As most of us know, being physically slim is no guarantee of happiness. Intangible parts of self need work, too. No matter what the scale reads, it all boils down to how we perceive the world -- a world that more often than not tells us we're broken.

During many a long conversation that went well into the wee hours -- she's on the west coast, so there's always a three-hour difference -- we didn't just chat about our weight and body image issues, but also about how to live life mindfully with a sense of purpose while helping others. How could we be who we are at heart and do this life thing with joy?

Our conversations about our personal challenges were often raw. We fearlessly looked at our "ugly" sides, disrobing, if you will, on a spiritual level to get rid of everything that no longer served us. We held a mirror up to each other and made ourselves accountable. We bolstered our self-esteem.

To have such a friend in my life who would love me unconditionally, warts and all, has been a blessing. Today, we still face many challenges, but we've shed more than just weight -- we've shed barriers to joy that keep so many women from feeling fulfilled and free in their own skin.

Ten years later, both of us are fit, fabulous and full of as much zest for life as two women in their late 40s could possibly have. We're wiser but none the worse for wear. What can I say? Millennials got nothin' on the hot, sexy babes we've become. Women in their 40s can look great and beam with confidence -- and most importantly -- feel it honestly down to their bones.

Let's not get too cocky here, though. We've also got humility, compassion and a genuine desire to share the best of ourselves with the world and to make a difference.

So, now you know what I think when I read "over 40" in any editorial. I just roll my eyes and laugh. That's bullshit. Aint nobody gonna tell me I'm broken.

THE SKINNY JEANS

Before and after. No judgement. Just phases in life.

Over the holidays, I took advantage of sales and headed over to Banana Republic -- my favorite jeans brand -- to find a smaller version of my size 30 jeans. Earlier in the year, size 30 was my "finally! I've made it!" size.

I texted Stephanie from the store. "Dude, I'm down to size 26! It only took me 10 years, LOL."

I then began to reflect on our friendship, our blogs and the journey to get to where I am today.

I LOVE MY MOM, BUT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE SHE DID

After my mom passed away a year and a half ago, I woke up one day and decided that I would avoid eating anything with fur or feathers. There was no particular nudge. Nothing. Just like that.

A plant-based lifestyle helped me drop the 80 pounds I gained gradually during my years as a caregiver, when I broke the number one rule of caregiving: I didn't practice self-care. I could have practiced self-care, but yeah, Monday morning quarterbacking. I was overwhelmed and simply didn't have the skill sets. Nobody handed me the manual on being a full-time caregiver to the elderly. But that's another story.

Be concerned if you gain an undue number of pounds. Be even more concerned if you are unhappy. Taking care of the elderly reminded me more than ever that happiness is our birthright. Goofiness is OK at any age.

Witnessing my mother's demise from Alzheimer's influenced my choice to avoid the typical Cuban-American diet, which is full of animal protein, starches and sugar. My mother's health history, which is similar to that of so many baby boomers now experiencing the wasting that came from decades of post World War II ideas on nutrition in the industrialized West, made me realize that something had to give. There's rampant proof of this in geriatric pathology today. But that, too, is another story.

I've maintained my weight loss for over a year and a half. I've never felt better. Each day is a new day. Screw the resolutions. As sure as the sun will rise, so will an opportunity to start fresh.

2015 was a particularly difficult year for me. I lost weight, to be sure, but I also lost my livelihood and home. What I didn't realize then was that I was gaining far more than I ever imagined I could have ... being skinny again was really about shedding all that which no longer served me; slimming down was an opportunity to peel that proverbial onion and get back to my core self. No one would ever be the boss of me except me. I followed my heart to those size 26 jeans, no doubt. What I put in my mouth was secondary.

Below are 14 steps I took and still take as I start each day like a new year. Do note that only four of them have to do with food and exercise and that all the steps lead back to number one.

Where ever you are in life, I hope my story inspires you to get back to your unbroken, beautiful self -- no matter what your size.

FOURTEEN DAILY PRACTICES FOR HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND BEAUTY

Sex and the Beach is more like Freedom and the Beach now.

1. FROM DYSFUNCTION TO FUNCTON
The single most important thing I did to lose weight was to detox my life from ALL toxic relationships, including the one I had with myself. Toxic relationships are based on lack and fear. Healthy relationships are based on abundance and love. That's it.

2. DNA IS FAMILY ONLY IF YOUR LAST NAME IS DEOXYRYBONUCLEIC ACID
I had to reevaluate unconditional love in my life -- how much was I receiving and how much was I giving? Love has nothing to do with bloodlines. When I was down and out, the amount of unconditional love I received from friends was boundless. I continue to receive. I give. No tiny gesture of kindness and love is ever wasted.

3. THERE SHOULD BE A WAR ON DRAMA, TOO
Drama is powerfully addictive. I decided that unless I was standing behind a proscenium, there'd be no room for drama in my life. Healthy relationships let go of resentments. Toxic relationships thrive on drama. Remember what I wrote about perception and the illusion of being broken? Food for thought.

4. A SHOPPING LIST IS FOR GROCERIES, NOT LOVERS
I threw out my list of expectations for the perfect man and stopped looking for love. Guess what? It found me and I'm happy.

5. SHARING REALLY IS CARING
I joined a bereavement group for support as a caregiver and to cope with the loss of my mother. I became more acquainted with folks who've started mindful, intentional communities in Miami.

6. SPIRITUAL FOOD
I continued to take in spiritual nourishment with my life coach Gloria Ramirez', whose free Thank God It's Monday teleconference is just as important to me as a yoga class or a trip to the gym. I practice some of the tenets of Course In Miracles and nourish my heart daily.

7. THE GLASS IS ALWAYS HALF FULL AND I WON'T GET PISSED AT YOU IF YOU ONLY POUR HALF
I practiced gratitude and forgiveness every waking moment. The spiritual detox encouraged me to live in a space of radical gratitude, which opened my heart to receiving unconditionally. How can I explain this? Unconditional love is a "thing" you must have in your life in order to be happy, just like air to breathe. Unconditional love doesn't flow from toxic relationships. In healthy relationships, it's a birthright. It's just second nature. Simple as that.

8. TOSS SHIT AND TRAVEL LIGHT
I lightened the load by donating many material possessions, including things I didn't even remember I had in storage. Yes, it's possible to have toxic attachments to material things that can't even love you back.

9. SCHLEPPING IS A MIZTVAH
I sold my car and continue to schlep everywhere on foot or public transportation, which has become a fun storyline on my Twitter account as #miamischlep. Most people think you can't live in Miami without a car, but thousands of people get by without one. It's funny to me that many car owners count their steps with Fitbit because they own a car. Of course, not being an automobile-based human is inconvenient sometimes for me, my beau and friends who helps me schlep, but it's great for my body and has shown me a side of my city that car owners don't often see.

And finally, the food part!

A plant-based diet spurred my creativity as a lifelong, avid home cook.

10. I DON'T EAT PIG BUT I EAT LIKE A PIG
#Vicequeenkitchen as it is today was born in the last year or so. I don't eating anything with fur or feathers. (This makes me an ovo-lacto pescetarian, for now. Many of my meals are vegan or raw vegan.) A plant-based lifestyle is so tasty and filling, I never have to use that nasty four letter word D-I-E-T. As a food writer who covers omnivore establishments, I have to make some exceptions, but that's all they are -- occasional, small samplings of food that isn't usually on my plate.

11. MODERATE IF NOT MODEST
I've never been a shy wallflower at parties, but I did cut back on libations.

12. THE JURASSIC PARK DIET IS FOR VELOCIRAPTORS
I don't eat like a predator whose food is going to run away. I eat slowly and mindfully.

13. PALEO FOR YOUR COMPLEXION
I got rid of dozens of beauty products I never really even used. Coconut oil is all I need. Think about what our ancestors used for beauty.

14. SHAKE WHAT YOUR MAMA GAVE YA
I've saved a key physical practice for last: Daily Burn. These, thirty-minute full-body workouts from home, in addition to long walks and some yoga from my own practice, have made all the difference. What's best is that the gym is one place that isn't on my list of schlepping destinations. This fun, online community workout is inexpensive and is part of what helped tone my body for those skinny jeans.

Hair: It's Kind of a Big Deal

Lady Lilith by Pre-Raphaelite Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

Hair, oh glorious hair! Glorified since time immemorial as a symbol of power, so much so that Delilah had to whack it off Sampson’s head, but on the flip side, patriarchs didn’t consider it fitting for women to display their loose locks in places of worship. Surely, my Spanish ancestresses wore veils to church lest G-d forbid their tresses would entice men with wanton lust. Orthodox Jewish women wear wigs for the sake of modesty. Muslim women cover-up with a hijab.

But dudes take their own hair seriously, too. Sikh men protect their hair under turbans. Rastafarians follow the tradition of holy men by sporting dreadlocks. Shall I go on? Hair is power. It means something in every culture.

How many stories haven’t we heard about hair? Lengthy strands and strong follicles helped Rapunzel out of a tight spot. Lady Godiva used hair to solve a wardrobe malfunction. Goldilocks wouldn’t have been the same in a pixie cut.

Botticelli's Venus.

Hair isn't just clogging up your shower drain, it's also all over the place in art and culture. Botticelli’s Venus looks like an ad for spa: two angels blow the hair of the goddess of love as she uses it to cover her naughty bits. Pre-Raphaelite painters depicted medieval maidens with luscious, voluminous hair -- a precursor to the Pantene commercial.

Excusez-moi, is there brioche in your hair? The neck of Marie Antoinette ended up on the guillotine, the ultimate SuperCuts.

French royalty wore powdered wigs so large they could hold a year’s worth of peasant bread rations -- the kind of ostentation that would lead to some very unbecoming beheadings. Industrialization and world wars ushered in a new age of fashion: flappers chopped it all off for sartorial freedom – no more Victorian stuffiness! Gone were the corsets, bustles and elaborate up-dos. Then hippies made long hair cool again. Braids were synonymous with flower power.

Some characters are unimaginable without hair. In Star Wars, Princess Leia's doughnut side buns are practical for space travel and fighting the dark forces of evil. And it’s a good thing Mitzi Gaynor didn’t have long hair in South Pacific, otherwise she would've taken that much longer to wash that man out of her hair.

AMBER ALERT FOR HAIR

Yeah, hair is kind of a big deal and you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone. One fine day, well on my way to age 50, I looked in the mirror and saw a forehead the size of a billboard. Yikes! I couldn't pull my hair back in a bun anymore.

Sigh. There it was: female baldness staring back at me. I always had fine, wispy hair and now that it was falling out I felt naked.

Turns out I’m not alone. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, over 80 million people in the United States have hereditary thinning or baldness.

Oh, how I’ve always envied the heads of many friends who were blessed with good hair genes. Friends who’d visit and shed like a small furry mammal all over my home. It’s only out of politeness I didn’t hand them a broom. Oh, to have so much hair!

Well, it turns out that some of my friends are fakes. No, no … they’re genuine folks at heart, but they’ve cheated genetic destiny a bit. I had always contemplated the idea of hair extensions until one day a friend told me she couldn't go out all weekend because she was getting her hair done.

“Wait,” I asked. “You mean you don't just jump out of bed everyday looking like you've been photoshopped onto a magazine cover?”

She laughed proudly. It was a labor of love. She also laughed a bit nervously,  as if she were hesitant to admit that getting hair extensions involved taking yourself hostage with a ransom of half a paycheck.

So I put it off.

But more recently, my beautiful friend Linda Ponder – who always looks red-carpet ready in a natural way – confessed her beauty secret to the world.

Yes, dear readers. I went there.

NOT A BIG DEAL AT ALL TO HAVE BIG HAIR

Pre-surgery, er procedure, selfie. "What? I need a triage team of two to fix this mess?"

Say hello to my not-so-little friend: SoCap Original USA human hair extensions.

The whole process took less than two hours and it didn’t cost an arm and a leg, much less a precious hair follicle.

But Linda only led the way. Juan Carmona of Cosi Chic Salon in Coral Gables was responsible for my transformation. I felt whole again: so this is what I was missing and what the hell was I waiting for? A miracle? How about a little no-nonsense, low-maintenance hair technology? SoCap’s adhesive extensions were so ridiculously easy to put on my head that I wish it had taken longer so I could enjoy more time chatting with the affable Carmona.

A NOT SO ACCIDENTAL STYLIST

Yes, happiness comes from within, but it sure doesn't hurt for some folks to help you express it on the outside.

You see, he has an interesting story with hair, too. As a former supervisor for Miami-Dade Police Department's evidence unit -- think Miami CSI -- he clearly developed attention to detail doing forensic work. Surely, he had to have gone through crime scene evidence with a fine tooth comb.

But more specifically, Carmona's passion for hair started 34 years ago when he married his wife -- a woman who should be legendary -- because as far as I know, she's the only woman on the planet who has ever let a husband groom her hair. Carmona’s skills were so good, word spread among their circle of friends and he built a following while moonlighting from home.

Most men buy a fancy car and date bimbos at age 50. Not Carmona, he reinvented himself to follow his passion. He earned his certifications officially and opened Cosi Chic, which he runs with his wife and daughter.

She’s a faithful customer, too. “I don’t trust anyone else with my hair.”

And so is the wife. Imagine the bonding time the couple must have had over the years because of hair. Nothing says “I love you” like a good hair brushing at the end of a long day. I think other wives should take a hint, if they should be so lucky to marry a man with such skills. After all, grooming is such an intimate practice. Who doesn’t love to have their hair brushed?

I certainly do and especially now that I actually have hair to brush. Carmona chose extensions in two different shades to match my highlighted natural hair. The SoCap extensions come from some  woman’s head in India who was born with that hair I so often coveted. The beauty industry calls it Remys hair -- that's just a fancy word for hair that’s cut in one direction from one head, so it doesn’t tangle.

“I guess it really is about genes,” I quipped. “I eat a lot of curry, sing mantras in Sanskrit and my natural hair is still flimsy.”

Sorry, but I'm not covering this up, even if it drives men wild with fiery passion.

Just in case I stumble upon a red carpet, I'll be ready.

I still can’t believe it when I look in the mirror. “Hair. OMG! I have hair!” Long locks that hang almost all the way down to my toosh, although unlike Botticelli's goddess, I won't be able to cover my mons with these new tresses.

My extensions, which once belonged to another woman from another continent, have become an extension of me. Yes, genetics, I’m cheating you. So what? Beauty inside and out, come full circle.

Whereas I once feared extensions would turn me into an annoying, high-maintenance princess, instead I now enjoy the mindful practice of washing this new head of hair. I savor the moments I brush it and wrap it around my head before going to sleep. Yes, it covers almost the full circumference of my noggin. It’s meditative. It’s sensual. And while I may not have a husband yet to do this for me, there are other things I'd rather he do for me, anyway.

I don’t like to rush through life. And so as in life, so as in hair. Hair, oh glorious hair! It's kind of a big deal.

FTC DISCLOSURE
Some legs of this hair journey were supported by Cosi Chic Salon and SoCap. Opinions my own.

Note: In addition to cosmetic enhancement, I’ve also consulted a dermatologist regarding hair loss, which is common in women my age but all potential contributing factors should always be ruled out. Carmona carefully placed my extensions so as to not pull further on the thinning part of my scalp. He suggests coming in for upkeep every six weeks or so. It's easier and healthier than using dyes.

The Most Feminine Thing About Me Is Not The Clothes On My Back

A few weeks ago, I thought about doing a clothes swap with a few girlfriends. Ladies, if you’ve never done this, pay attention: it’s a great way to spruce up your wardrobe and clean out your closets! Bring whatever you don’t want and share with others.  Left overs go to charity.

That suit you never wear? That purse you never clutch? Those jeans that no longer fit? That blouse you loved but only wore once? Those earrings that were so last year? Bring it all and let it go. And take home a bounty.

Sure, it’s a first world problem to have that much sartorial abundance. But in sharing what we no longer want, we also create more abundance of the heart currency kind.

It’s also a great way to connect -- wine, women, conversation and even an impromptu yoga class, where I individually taught each gal downward dog. And that’s a bit ironic, because my first experience of a “clothes swap” happened years ago while I was training to become a yoga teacher.

We laughed. We cried. We hugged. We talked about everything under the sun, including, of course, sex, penises, vaginas, relationships and all those wonderful thoughts women concoct on an absolutely wonderful “girls night in.”

We thought we were going to make it to the Wynwood Art Walk. But I knew better. I knew that this was a work of art in a social sense.

We gathered together from all walks of life, all ages, giving away cloaks we no longer wanted but that would bring a smile to another’s face and most importantly, sharing part of ourselves while shedding old things – things that we are attached to but that no longer serve us.

One new friend was shy about receiving lavish cast offs. "Why?" I replied. "Go. Take it. Give it love." We were all paying it forward.

My friend N, who generously hosted the evening in her beautiful loft studio near downtown Miami -- and, who incidentally is owned by a feline who took great offense to her practicing “downward dog” on the mat -- came up with a brilliant idea in response to a male-centric post on Upworthy entitled 6 Guys Challenging Decades of Stereotypes Using Only A Whiteboard and a Marker.

The challenge was to find something not so much gender-specific, but heartfelt. We did it, too. We asked ourselves: “What is the most feminine/womanly thing about me? But what also feels masculine?”

The results were interesting!


• I Catch 200 Pound Sharks and Wear Victoria's Secret Bras
• I'm Ballsy
• Courage to Move Into Unknown
• Nerdy Academic
• Magic
• Multi-Tasking
• Loving
• Art of Persuasion
• Obsessive Devotion

Over some laughs, it occurred to me that UPWORTHY was not quite SPONGEWORTHY. Because many of us that night had a tale to tell about a man who wasn’t and a man who was.

 (If you're not of the Seinfeld generation, please click here.)

THE CLOTHES SWAP


It doesn’t matter if your pants are too small or too big for the next woman. What does matter that you share from the heart with your beloved friends. Me? I left with a couple of shirts, a cool velvet brown cap, some lovely hoop earrings and some really awesome yoga pants that I needed to upgrade my typical caregiver schmatte wardrobe.

My friends are a bit smaller in bodily size, but their hearts are enormously, fabulously beautiful. My heart swelled larger and was more blessed for the company – the clothes make the man but the heart makes the person – no matter what fabric covers your body.

And no seamstress, no bespoke tailor in the world can stitch up these things that money can't buy.

If you’re in the Miami, consider doing a similar event and donating whatever is left over to Lotus House or Dress for Success. And if you’ve got seriously luxe items, check out Fashionably Conscious.

Silk

A friend of mine gave me a luxurious silk robe for my 46th birthday.

At first, I thought it would just be a beautiful wardrobe item to wear at home.  But it has become more than a work of art that dangles on the wooden paravan behind my bed.

At night, after a long day of toil, I wear my birthday suit instead of pajamas.  I practice a beauty ritual of bathing, followed by moisturizing my skin with softly-scented lotions and oils. Some nights, it is lavender.  Other nights, citrus scents like lemongrass, bergamot and ylang-ylang perfume my soft skin. If I'm feeling frisky, I'll resort to my trusted nutmeg.

When I first wore the robe to bed and let the silk touch my flesh, I felt a kinship with the fabric. Something magical happened. In the absence of a lover, I felt loved. I felt enveloped, swaddled in some kind of gentle sensuality. I felt embraced by a sense of peace, as if God was holding a tender bird in his hands.

The robe caresses me. The robe gives me sweet dreams about love, lightness, joy and well, perhaps a naughty thought here and there.

The robe has become part of my meditation ritual -- the one I practice in my bed, which is a tantric sacred space, even when no other body lies next to me.

When I awake at sunrise, I remove the robe and hang it back on the wooden paravan. I face the day naked but soothed. Never raw.

Every woman should enjoy a robe such as this, even when she sleeps next to her beloved. Or even if she sleeps alone.

Yo Soy Hialeah: Bargain Shopping

Part three of several stories about Hialeah.

"Lizette" knows a good bargain when she sees one.

The third installment of Yo Soy Hialeah focuses on two iconic stores, Ño Que Barato! and Ño Que Caché.

Hialeah Bargain Shopping wasn’t easy to film, mainly because Miami native comedian Freddy Stebbins had us in stitches as we improvised. Stebbins, who is really from “Miami-uh” — that old-time southern city before the influx of Cubans — grew up during the influx, in a transitional cross-cultural setting, deeply appreciating Hispanic culture while living in a traditional gringo household. It’s this dichotomy that inspires his humor today and his love for Hialeah, a place where he used to go shopping as a kid.

"El Gringo" thinks he's ready for a night out in South Beach.

SEE THE VIDEO



Click here if the embedded video doesn't appear.


ABOUT THE HEAD ÑO GUY

Sex and the Beach interviewed Serafín Blanco, the owner and founder of Ño Que Barato and Ño Que Caché, over the phone.

Blanco left Cuba in the late 60s as a teen, landing in Spain before settling in Miami and reuniting with his parents in 1970. He left high school early to become a self-made entrepreneur, working in the then thriving Hialeah textile industry.

He married, made a family and worked hard, but things in the fabric world would eventually change. Pressure from manufacturing in China, South and Central America forced him to use surplus fabric to make his own clothes — batas de casa (housewife robes), tshirts, tank tops and so on. In 1992, he opened his first store Clothing Machine, which was right next to Dollar Machine. Eventually, this would become El Dollarazo, which the Blanco family still owns today.

Clothing Machine obviously didn’t have a catchy name.

Blanco opened Ño Que Barato in 1996, but at first it was just called Que Barato, which translates literally as "how inexpensive." Cuban comedian Alvarez Guedes, and the fact that many Cubans use the word coño pretty much in every sentence, inspired Blanco to add the loaded two-letter abbreviation ño next to the words Que Barato on the storefront wall, where he happened to have enough space for the now famous syllable.

The word coño isn’t easy to translate. It can mean many things I can’t publish here, including words starting with SH and FU. Just as in English we use those SH and FU words in myriad ways, so do Cubans use the C word in many positive and negative connotations.

In this case, it’s an emphasis word, meaning “[insert expletive here], that’s cheap!” If I had my way, I’d translate it thusly: “What a f*cking bargain!”

Today, the Ño stores are a landmark in Hialeah, still family owned and family run. Blanco’s daughter had the idea for Baby Caché, which opened in 2002 and is part of Ño Que Caché. This discount store offers a great variety of baby items for canastilla, the trousseau of sorts for newborns, as well as plentiful clothing options for men, women and children. Caché Fiestas next door hosts an entertainment facility for kid parties.

The story of Serafín Blanco is yet another great chapter in entrepreneurship from Hialeah. “We’ve had our ups and downs,” Blanco said. “But we keep moving forward.”

Hialeah Bargain Shopping was created in collaboration with Oscar Piloto. To reach Freddy, find him on Facebook.  We filmed Freddy as he was getting ready and warming up for his "Lizette" character. Click here for some hilarious out takes.

HistoryMiami Honors the Guayabera in New Exhibit

The classic guayabera.

July 1 is National Guayabera Day, so the timing for a VIP party at HistoryMiami last Thursday couldn't have been better. The occasion? The Guayabera: A Shirt's Story exhibit, which runs through January 13, 2012.

HistoryMiami pulled all the stops with major exhibit sponsor Cubavera, treating guests to a lively shindig in downtown's Cultural Plaza -- paella, Bacardi mojitos, music, cigars and dominoes gave the evening a definite Latin sabor.

Yes, ladies smoke too.

No Cuban-inspired party is complete without a cigar maker, this one from Mobile Cigar Store.

Dominoes are part of the Cuban tradition.

A massive seafood paella fed the guests after passed hors d'oeuvres.

But the real star of the festivities was the guayabera -- a button-down man's shirt with vertical pleating and four pockets associated with Cuban culture. Today, the once-humble menswear has become iconic and a fashionable wardrobe item for women and children as well.

The exact origin of the guayabera is unknown, but variations of it exist in Mexico, where embroidery distinguishes it from its Cuban counterpart.

Michael Knoll, a folklorist at HistoryMiami, curated the exhibit through the cultural institution's South Florida Folklife Center. Originally from Wisconsin, Knoll became fascinated with the culture of the shirt.  “The guayabera is culturally meaningful to a large number of South Florida residents," said Knoll in a statement.  "You only have to look at how many men are wearing guayaberas on any given day to see that.”

George Feldenkreis, founder of Cubavera.

Knoll introduced the audience to George Feldenkreis.

Cuban-born Feldenkreis is the founder of Cubavera, a leading manufacture of the garment, which retails at Macy's and online. Widely known as the "King of the Guayabera," Feldenkreis joked about taking the title of king back from Lebron James after this season's Miami Heat victory.

For garment industry royalty, Feldenkreis was actually very humble during his speech.  He told us he had arrived in Miami in 1961 and had fallen into the guayabera industry almost by accident. No sooner did he step behind the mic, he praised the U.S. as land of opportunity -- a very familiar tale among Cuban immigrants from his generation.

Even dogs enjoy guayabera fashions today.

Local fashion blogger Kelly Saks, here sporting a guayabera dress, was Miss Cuba 2011 (mainland Cuba, aka Miami, not the island).

This dress, part of a one-night only special addition to the exhibit, was designed by a student from the Miami International University of Art and Design.

The exhibit features Cuban and Spanish military uniforms from the 19th century, embroidered Mexican wedding shirts, contemporary versions by Cubavera, a guayabera dress worn by legendary salsa songstress Celia Cruz, a Pacific variation known as the Hawaiibera, guayabera-inspired accessories, a late 1940s shirt crafted by famous guayabera tailor Ramón Puig and much more.

(Incidentally, a new Ramón Puig store also held an opening night party Thursday just down Flagler street.)

For me, the guayabera has always been symbolic of my Cuban heritage and beckons a certain nostalgia. There's nothing more elegant than a crisp, white, well-pressed guayabera on a man.  Picture him in that shirt, hair neat and trimmed, wearing a nice cologne and on his best behavior.  A very fitting lady's companion indeed.

IF YOU GO

The exhibition will be accompanied by an online exhibition and a variety of educational programs, including a free family program on July 14th, a City Tour highlighting Cuban establishments in downtown Miami and a lecture/demonstration on the making of a guayabera.

For more information, visit HistoryMiami.