My counsel hath advised me that my male subjects hath committed mockery of the Adonis recently admitted to court. Lest it be written in the anals of history that Queen Manola runneth a petticoat empire to appease the meek desires of the frail sex, I hereby declareth that soft porn shall be meted out justly among knights and damsels both. In this fair kingdom, where flesh serveth as social currency, Queen Manola must not govern with an iron dildo but with a spandex thong. I therefore present to thee, oh salacious gentlemen who careth not to address thy pieces of meat by the Gods of ancient Greece, some pageantry from the Best Butt on the Beach, held at the earthly paradise known as The Clevelander Hotel.
Upon learning of the Queen's generous dispensation, Sir Lancelot, winner of the archery games, bent down on his knees and kissed the hands of the gracious Queen. "Oh your royal vagina," declared the knight. "How magnanimous of thee to provide our sex with a veritable cornucopia of bull's eye! Where dost thou advise me to sticketh my arrow?"
Photograph courtesy of Miami Fever
tags: best butt on the beach, ass, south beach, thong, humor
